Right In Front Of You
by Boo1
Summary: Faith returns to Sunnydale - set in season 6
1. Default Chapter

Title: Right In Front Of You   
Author: Boo  
Disclaimers: These are Joss Whedon's toys, we only play with them when he's not looking.  
Rated: R  
Spoilers: Takes place the morning after the S6 episode Wrecked so anything up to that is fair game.  
Feedback: Feedback is my antidrug. Swanrvr80@aol.com.  
Distribution: See, want, take - just tell me.  
  
PART ONE  
  
Reluctantly she opened her eyes. Even with the shades drawn she knew it was late, maybe even after noon. Lunchtime. The day was already halfway gone. She only sat up to stop herself from calculating how many hours she had left until the sun set. At least she didn't have to make the bed. Buffy had fallen asleep wearing the clothes she had worn the night before, hadn't even bothered to slip under the blankets.  
  
Smoothing down the comforter with her hands, she stared for a moment at the empty pillow next to her. Two pillows, one girl. Why did she keep two pillows on her bed? Had she even noticed? Did her body want something that she didn't even know she needed? And then her eyes focused on the silver cross nestled in a fold of her covers.  
  
Buffy quickly turned and ran to the window, pulling on the shade. It slipped from her grasp and snapped up, forcing her to cover her eyes with her forearm. The warmth of the sun felt comforting, felt reassuring, yet Buffy had to squint as her eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness. It was another thing that she hadn't told the others, how everything seemed too bright, too harsh now. Dawn seemed to have noticed but made it obvious that she didn't want to talk about. As long as her sister was back the details didn't matter.  
  
With a sigh that puffed out her cheeks, Buffy rubbed her eyes and left the room. Willow's door wasn't open yet it wasn't exactly shut, either. Buffy inhaled slowly once and peered in. Willow's bed was unmade but she wasn't in it.  
  
"Willow?" called out Buffy as she gently nudged the door open.  
  
The room was dark, lit only by the flickering glow of a single candle. Willow was sitting cross-legged on the floor at the foot of her bed. She didn't look up at Buffy. Buffy walked over and sat down next to her.  
  
"Morning. Or afternoon. Not really sure. Only got up a few minutes ago myself," offered Buffy. Willow glanced at her with half a nod.  
  
"Get any sleep?" asked Buffy, touching Willow's shoulder softly with her hand.  
  
Willow shook her head ever so slightly, her face expressionless. Buffy noticed that she was rubbing her hands together, repeatedly, probably unaware that she was even doing it. Suppressing a frown, Buffy hesitantly slid her hand across her friend's shoulder and pulled her close.  
  
"I, I couldn't...the bed, I mean. I couldn't stay in it. It just seemed so...so empty, you know?" whispered Willow.  
  
With her other hand Buffy reached over and covered Willow's hands, calming them. She gave Buffy the briefest of grateful smiles then looked away.  
  
"I know," nodded Buffy.  
  
Willow inhaled sharply and painfully closed her eyes.  
  
"Why don't we go see how Dawn's doing, maybe make her some pancakes or something?" smiled Buffy. She felt Willow's body tense.  
  
"I...I already saw Dawn. Earlier, I mean. She wouldn't talk to me...wouldn't even look at me," sighed Willow, not looking at Buffy.  
  
"Oh. Well, I guess she's entitled to a hissy fit. Or two. But you know Dawn...she'll come around," reassured Buffy. "You'll see."  
  
Willow halfheartedly shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"And why should she?" protested Willow with a pout.  
  
"Hey. I'm only going to allow you some minor wallowing. And a little guilt is okay, but self pity? Sorry, ain't going to let you get away with that."  
  
Willow just stared out ahead of her, as if Buffy weren't even there. Buffy leaned forward and kissed Willow's hair, adding a little squeeze on her shoulder. She made to stand up but Willow lashed out, fiercely grabbing Buffy's wrist. Her eyes danced from Buffy to her hand and back again. Slowly, embarrassed by this display, Willow eased her grip. But she didn't let go.  
  
"Buffy, do me a favor? Please?" pleaded Willow. Buffy cringed at the desperation in her voice.  
  
"Of course. Anything. What..."  
  
"Could...could you call Tara for me? I need...I mean, we need to talk. I...it's just..."  
  
"I'll call her right now. You go get in the shower. Okay?" asked Buffy, lowering her head to meet Willow's gaze. Willow seemed to consider this, almost afraid to let Buffy go. Then she nodded. She tried to smile but just as quickly looked as if she would cry.  
  
Buffy stood up and helped Willow to her feet. She put her hands on Willow's cheeks and made her friend look at her. And then she smiled, forcing a confidence that she didn't feel.  
  
"It's going to be okay. Trust me," said Buffy, touching her forehead to Willow's. Willow closed her eyes, fighting back tears and eased her chin onto Buffy's shoulder with a hug.  
  
"Buffy, it hurts so much," whispered Willow.  
  
Buffy awkwardly pulled away.  
  
"Will, go get into the shower. I have a phone call to make."  
  
Buffy smiled to make her point. Willow nodded, wiping her eyes as she turned from Buffy.  
  
Buffy made her way to the top of the staircase. Downstairs she heard Dawn run to the front window.  
  
"Buffy! There's a taxi in front of the house!" called her sister.  
  
"Giles?" whispered Buffy, her eyes opening wide as she ran down the stairs.  
  
"Who is it?" asked Buffy, her voice louder than she wanted.  
  
"I don't know. Some girl, brunette...wearing a black leather coat," shrugged Dawn, not bothering to turn to face Buffy. Buffy stood behind Dawn.   
  
And her mouth dropped open.  
  
"Faith."  
  
Buffy glanced at her sister. Dawn wrinkled her eyebrows at her.  
  
"Who?"  
  
Once again Buffy's eyes opened wide.  
  
"Faith," she repeated, still getting a confused look from Dawn. "You know...the other Slayer?"  
  
"Oh. That's right, you died. Hence another Slayer. Wow, you were gone what, three months? Didn't think she'd show up here that quick."  
  
Buffy's mouth slowly opened, her eyes narrowed in confusion...and fear.  
  
"What? I should have said quickly?" frowned Dawn.  
  
Buffy shook her head to clear it.  
  
"Stay. Here. Don't. Move."  
  
Buffy walked to the door and glanced back as she opened it. Dawn's expression, that of stark trepidation, never changed.  
  
She stood at the end of the walk, not moving, staring...waiting. Black. Her leather jacket, her top, her pants (surprising not leather), the backpack slung over her shoulder, even the sunglasses she wore. Black. Same old Faith.  
  
Buffy closed the door behind her and walked towards Faith, stopping about ten feet away. Faith didn't say anything, didn't smile, didn't move. Putting her hands on her hips, Buffy eased into her best glare.  
  
"So. You're out," challenged Buffy, stating the obvious.  
  
"Hey B," replied Faith, her lips nervously taut.   
  
Buffy ignored her, waiting for an explanation.  
  
"Um, yeah. I'm out. Time off for good behavior, throw in some extenuating circumstances..."  
  
"Good behavior! You've got to be...and so you come running back to Sunnydale? What happened? Angel get sick of you already? Last time I saw you he was in your arms," added Buffy bitterly.  
  
Faith looked down, wincing. Buffy's words had seemed to hit home hard.  
  
"Angel probably...he doesn't know. Don't see how he could," shrugged Faith.  
  
Buffy lowered her arms to her side.  
  
"What?"  
  
Faith took a deep breath but didn't look up at Buffy when she spoke.  
  
"Angel stopped coming to see me over a year ago. He...no one has even spoken to me since..."  
  
"Oh, and you expect me to throw you a big pity party? Is that it?" demanded Buffy, incredulous.  
  
"Actually, I needed to ask Red a question. Is, is she here?" asked Faith hopefully, looking up.  
  
"She's here. But Willow isn't...she's not feeling well right now. And I don't think she'd be up to dealing with you."  
  
"B, please. It's wicked important," pleaded Faith.  
  
"And I should care why?" laughed Buffy. "Angel obviously doesn't. Hell, you think Wes or Cordy are worried about you? Maybe if someone else's wishes about what happens to you needed to be considered I might care enough to continue this conversation!"  
  
Faith bit her lower lip, her voice almost a whisper.  
  
"There is, B. See, I..."   
  
Just then the door behind Buffy opened. She turned to see Dawn standing there. Her sister didn't come outside. She just stood there...watching.   
  
"Who is that? Is it Re...I mean, Willow. Is it..."  
  
"It's Dawn," interrupted Buffy, turning back to face Faith. "You going to tell me you don't recognize her?"  
  
"Who's Dawn?" asked Faith. By the expression on her face, Buffy could tell that Faith was both serious and confused. Buffy's mouth once again dropped open.  
  
"Uh, B? About the recognizing part? Thing is...I'm not wearing these glasses as a fashion statement. I'm blind," said Faith flatly, her face now empty of emotion.  
  
If Buffy was confused before, she was absolutely speechless now.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
Buffy still didn't move. She simply stared at Faith.  
  
"I knew coming here was a mistake. Just, just call me a cab, okay? Or maybe Xander can drive me over to the shelter," sighed Faith.  
  
"What? Oh! No. No, Faith, I didn't...I'm sorry. It's, it's just a lot to take in, you know? Why...I mean...Faith, how did this happen?" asked Buffy, just now realizing that she still hadn't moved any closer to Faith.  
  
"I don't know," replied Faith, shaking her head. "Just woke up like this. Doctors can't find anything wrong with me, say it's psychosomatic or some such crap. But I know better. So do you."  
  
"Huh?" countered Buffy.  
  
"Magic. It's a spell or a curse or something. Wolfram and Hart are probably pissed that I didn't do what they hired me to do. Least that's my take on the sitch."  
  
"Hired you to...oh. You mean...kill Angel," nodded Buffy.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So that's why you want to talk to Willow."  
  
Faith nodded but didn't say anything at first. She winced and then looked down at her feet.  
  
"Not that she has any reason to help me," whispered Faith.  
  
"You never did understand her, did you?" smiled Buffy. "Come on, let's get you inside. Um..."  
  
Buffy walked over to Faith, stopping about an arm's length from her.  
  
"Why don't you give me your hand?" offered Buffy.  
  
Faith slowly raised her head. She started to extend her hand but hesitated. And suddenly Buffy knew why. The last time they had clasped hands together...  
  
As if she knew what the other Slayer was thinking, Faith slowly opened her hand, palm up, showing Buffy that it was empty. Only then did she hold it out. Buffy looked at Faith's face, searching for any hint of the emotions that Faith might be dealing with, that she herself felt. Conflicting, inhibiting, both pain and anger, fear and pity preventing her from reaching out to Faith. But the younger Slayer's face betrayed no such feelings. Looking down, Buffy noticed that Faith's hand was trembling. And Buffy allowed herself a brief smile.  
  
She brushed her fingers across the palm of Faith's hand and held it.  
  
"I'll help you," said Buffy, slipping her other hand down to her elbow. She could feel Faith's hand tense.  
  
"Thanks," answered Faith softly and without a smile.  
  
Buffy turned and saw Dawn staring at them. She mouthed the words 'get inside' to her sister as she guided Faith up the walk. Dawn frowned and stomped off.  
  
"Okay, almost there. Coming up on a step...here," warned Buffy, leaning forward to push the door open. Faith nervously reached out with her left hand, searching for the door.  
  
"I got ya," encouraged Buffy. Faith nodded slightly and let Buffy lead her into the living room.  
  
"The sofa is right behind you. Why don't you sit down?"  
  
Faith sat down, slipping her backpack off one shoulder. She realized that she was still gripping Buffy's hand tightly and quickly let go.  
  
"Thanks," repeated Faith, embarrassed. She dropped the backpack down next to her.  
  
"So...you want something to drink?" asked Buffy.  
  
"No. I'm fine."  
  
Faith placed both hands on her knees, tense, her head tilted slightly as she listened to her surroundings. She froze and Buffy turned to look behind her. Dawn was standing by the stairs.  
  
"Dawn, go upstairs and see if Willow is out of the shower yet. Tell her...don't tell her anything. Just...bring her down when she's ready."  
  
Dawn nodded and ran up the stairs.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Faith...that's Dawn. She's my sister. Are you telling me that you don't remember her?" grimaced Buffy, sitting down on the couch next to Faith.   
  
"Sister? Buffy, what the hell are you talking about? You don't have a sister," said Faith, turning her head in Buffy's direction. "I mean, what, did Joyce adopt while I was in prison?"  
  
"Um, no. And Faith, about my mom..."  
  
Just then they both turned their heads, hearing Dawn come running back down the stairs.  
  
"She'll be right down, Buffy. I didn't tell her who was here," said Dawn, looking at Faith.  
  
"Thanks, Dawn. I..."  
  
Faith slowly stood up, her face visibly pale. Buffy looked from her to Dawn and back at Faith, quickly standing up as she realized something was wrong. The look on Faith's face...she had seen Faith afraid only twice before, when they had faced Kakistos and, oh so briefly, when she had mistakenly staked Allan Finch in that alley. And now.  
  
"Buffy...Buffy, who is that?" whispered Faith, her voice trembling.   
  
"Faith, I told you, it's my sister. Dawn. I'm not sure why you don't remember her, but I think I can explain. There's something you don't know about her," added Buffy, moving to stand in front of Faith to get between her and her sister.  
  
Faith stood motionless, staring past Buffy at Dawn as if she could see.  
  
"Dawn...say something. Speak to me," said Faith.  
  
"Um," began Dawn, glancing nervously at Buffy.  
  
"Say something!" screamed Faith, startling both Buffy and Dawn.  
  
"I, um...what do you want me to say? I'm Dawn. Like Buffy said, I'm her sister," answered Dawn defiantly, hiding her fear.  
  
"Oh my God!" breathed Faith, her voice less than a whisper. She moved along the couch and nearly stumbled as she pressed back against the wall behind her, moving away from Dawn.  
  
"Faith?" called Buffy.  
  
"What are you?" demanded Faith, the fear in her voice replaced by anger.  
  
Buffy and Dawn stared at her.  
  
"Are, are you a ghost? A demon? What? Answer me!" yelled Faith, still trying to back further away.  
  
Buffy looked at Dawn and then walked towards Faith.  
  
"Dawn, don't move. Faith, it's me. What's wrong? I don't understand..."  
  
"Buffy, that's not your sister. I know that voice. I will never forget that voice. Hell, she even has the same name!" cried Faith, her voice breaking.  
  
"Faith, what are you..."  
  
"Buffy! Dawn was my sister! But she's dead!"  
  
Again Buffy's eyes grew wide. So did Dawn's.  
  
"Wh...Faith, that's impossible! And, and you never told me you had a sister!" protested Buffy. Yet Buffy knew Faith believed what she said. The girl was shaking.  
  
"No, I didn't tell you. It was too...Buffy, she's dead. She died when she was ten!"  
  
Faith had pressed back until she was in the corner of the room and could go no further. Buffy swallowed and closed her eyes, trying to think. Just then Willow came down the stairs, a towel wrapped around her head.  
  
"Okay, what's so important that I couldn't dry my hair? This had...oh my God," said Willow, stopping in midstride. She reached out and pulled Dawn behind her.  
  
"Willow, it's okay. Faith, um...well, first of all...she's blind," winced Buffy. "And she, uh, doesn't remember Dawn."  
  
Willow scrunched her eyes together, staring at the figure in the corner and slipped her fingers into Dawn's hand. Dawn just stood there as if she hadn't noticed.  
  
"Buffy, I, I can prove it. In my backpack there's a leather wallet. There's a photo of me and Dawnie. We're, um, outside Fenway Park, sharing a sausage and pepper grinder."  
  
Buffy unzipped the backpack and quickly found the wallet.  
  
"Oh, and Dawn, she has a small V-shaped scar just above her left knee. She got it when she was nine and fell off the carousel at the Big E. Oh, that's this huge fair they have every fall back in Massachusetts," said Faith confidently.  
  
Buffy looked at Dawn. Dawn was shaking her head.  
  
"No. No, I got that scar when I fell off the carousel in Los Angeles. With you, Buffy. Not her," denied Dawn weakly.  
  
Buffy looked at Faith. Faith had closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. She covered her mouth with one hand as if she might throw up. Buffy chose to ignore her for the moment and pulled a worn, faded photograph from the wallet. And then she gasped and shot a worried look at Dawn. Dawn's eyes opened wide.  
  
"Faith, this looks like you're outside of a stadium...and you have a grinder in your hand...but you're alone. There's no one in the photo but you. See?" asked Buffy, holding it up. "Oh! Sorry!"  
  
"Wh-what? No. No! That's impossible. I, I've had that photo for years. I...oh my God," whispered Faith. She slumped down into a sitting position, her knees drawn up and her head in her hands. Buffy wasn't sure but she thought Faith was crying. And she had never seen Faith cry.  
  
Buffy tossed the wallet back into the backpack and glanced at Willow and Dawn. They stood motionless, both waiting for her to say or do something. Buffy exhaled slowly and knelt down next to Faith. Buffy put her hand on Faith's knee and she recoiled at the touch.  
  
"Buffy, it's not fair," whispered Faith. "Even what I don't have anymore is being taken away. This, this can't be happening."  
  
Buffy hesitantly reached out and then put her hand on Faith's arm. This time Faith didn't flinch.  
  
"Hey. We'll figure this out," comforted Buffy.  
  
"Yeah. Magic. It's got to be magic. I know! Giles! He can figure this out. That's what he does, right?" asked Faith, her voice holding no hope despite her desire.  
  
"Yeah, he does. Except that he's back in England now," frowned Buffy.  
  
"Oh," replied Faith, her answer hollow and empty.  
  
"Buffy, there's something wrong here," called Willow from the other side of the room.  
  
"Ya think?" sighed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, listen to me! I know Faith tried to...I mean, when she was with the Mayor and, and...Buffy, I can't remember! We know Faith tried to hurt Dawn. Don't we? That time when...Buffy, I...something's not right here," said Willow, now pulling Dawn close to her. Dawn didn't protest.  
  
Buffy looked away, lost in thought. Very slowly she turned towards Faith and then she looked back at Dawn. Her sister, while obviously scared, was trying to put on a brave face for her.  
  
"You're right. I can't even remember Faith even meeting Dawn now. But I know..."  
  
Buffy looked back at Faith. Faith raised her head and looked back as if she knew what Buffy was doing.  
  
"It's as if...even when Faith came over, Dawn would be sleeping over a friend's house, or she was at school, or...but I know you tried to hurt her. At least I used to!" sighed Buffy, shaking her head.  
  
"Buffy, my sister is dead. There's no way that what I remember isn't real. It was raining and the clock had just started to chime ten. And then I saw that the front door was slightly open. I...I had told her that I had lost one of my favorite earrings on the way home. She wanted to look for it but I said we'd wait until morning because it was raining."  
  
Faith paused, swallowing hard, lost in her remembering...and then she turned her head in the direction of Dawn. Buffy followed her gaze and looked at her sister. Dawn was listening intently, afraid to even breathe. When Faith spoke again, her voice was small, distant, as if she were back in Boston, watching this scene unfold all over again.  
  
"I ran outside. We lived at the top of a hill and it was dark. It was dark because I had thrown a rock at the streetlight and busted it the night before. Dawn, she...she was in the street...and she was just standing there in the rain. But she was smiling. She held out her hand and I knew. I knew she had found that damn earring. That God damned earring!"  
  
Faith turned her head but Buffy could see the tears welling up in the corner of her eye.  
  
"This pickup truck came over the hill. And it was coming fast...too fast. I, I tried to scream Dawn's name...she barely had time to even turn around. She didn't...she didn't..."  
  
"Faith, don't. I believe you, okay? Faith...stop," said Buffy, now getting upset herself. She put her hand on Faith's shoulder but she pulled back.  
  
"No one is going to tell me that I don't remember that," snarled Faith through clenched teeth even as she choked back her tears. "No one. That's not going to be taken from me...ever. And I know my sister's voice. She screamed my name. She..."  
  
Faith turned her head towards Buffy.  
  
"This is hell, right? I'm dead...and this is my hell," nodded Faith.  
  
Buffy couldn't answer her. She had wondered, no, had believed the same thing almost every day herself. Without realizing what she was doing, Buffy turned away from Faith and stared accusingly at Willow. Willow's lower lip quivered as she turned away, unable to look at her friend. It only took one simple look. But Willow knew what Buffy was thinking.  
  
END OF PART ONE 


	2. Part Two

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART TWO  
  
They sat around the table in silence, Buffy across from Faith and to her left, Dawn across from Willow. Faith was tapping her fingers on the table until she realized just how loud, and annoying, that was. Even though she was blind the others, hiding their pity, still avoided looking at her.  
  
"So...I'm supposed to believe this whole Key story? That everything I believed was a lie? That, that one of the only people who ever...who ever cared for me...that it was just some cruel joke?" sighed Faith.  
  
There was a moment of silence that was quickly shattered by Willow as she tried, rather unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Red, what could possibly be funny?" winced Faith, more hurt than angry.  
  
"I'm sorry, I...well..."  
  
Willow glanced around the table, still trying not to laugh.  
  
"I guess you'll just have to accept it...on blind faith!" snickered Willow. Dawn bit her lower lip and Buffy had to cover her mouth.   
  
"Faith, I'm sorry. Really," guffawed Willow, her face getting red.  
  
Faith simply shrugged.  
  
"Whatever," she said, her shoulders slumping.  
  
"Faith, I get it now. It makes sense. It does," said Dawn. Faith tensed at hearing Dawn's voice again but only Buffy seemed to notice.  
  
"I was sent to the Slayer for her to protect me. But you, well, you were in prison and couldn't take care of me. Sounds like the monks who did this started the process and then changed their minds about it," said Dawn. "So..."  
  
"So they sent you to me," interrupted Buffy. "And Faith was chosen first because I'm not the Slayer."  
  
"What?" said both Dawn and Faith at the same time.  
  
"Well, not the active Slayer. I mean, I died...again...and another Slayer wasn't called. Another won't be called until Faith..."  
  
"Oh," interjected Faith, nodding her head. "But no, I'm not the Slayer. Buffy is. Always has been."  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"Not now, B. Not now," repeated Faith sadly. Buffy was going to argue but let it go.   
  
"Wow, this is...wow. Ya know, you guys could've dropped me a postcard or something. There's just so much that I missed. Dawn's here, Buffy died, Buffy came back, Giles left..."  
  
"And Riley did too," added Dawn. Buffy glared at her as Faith shrank a little lower in her seat.   
  
"Well, excuse me, but he did!" protested Dawn.  
  
"And Buffy, I'm sorry about your mom. Really," said Faith, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Thanks," answered Buffy. "Um, Willow, what do you think? Some bad mojo making Faith blind?"  
  
"It's possible," agreed Willow, standing up. "Faith, take off your glasses. Let me see your eyes."  
  
Faith complied as Willow walked into the kitchen a took out a flashlight from a drawer. She came back and shone the light directly into Faith's eyes. Frowning, she clicked off the flashlight and flicked her hand at Faith's face. Faith didn't even blink.  
  
"Weird," commented Willow.  
  
"No shit," agreed Faith.  
  
"Her pupils dilate, reacting to the light, but she can't see. Either the doctors are right..."  
  
"Meaning I'm nuts," sighed Faith.  
  
"Or it's a spell," continued Willow, not disagreeing with Faith's assessment.  
  
"You sure?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Remember when Amy's mom did that spell on Cordelia? Her eyes clouded over, became completely white. It only lasted for a few hours, but that was a complicated spell. This is different. There's some powerful magicks at work here," nodded Willow.  
  
"But...you can help me?" asked Faith anxiously.  
  
Willow glanced at Buffy but quickly looked down at her hands.  
  
"No. I can't," said Willow softly, her face contorting as if she had just bit into a lemon.  
  
"Why? Red...Willow. You can raise the dead...but you can't help me?" pleaded Faith.  
  
"Can't walk on water, either," countered Willow, an edge to her voice.  
  
Faith leaned back into her chair and slipped her sunglasses back into place.  
  
"It's okay. I understand," said Faith flatly.  
  
"No, you don't," answered Buffy. "Faith, Willow doesn't do magic anymore. She...just can't."  
  
"Oh," grunted Faith, truly surprised.  
  
"That's not entirely true," sighed Willow, sitting back down in her chair.  
  
"Huh?" muttered Faith.  
  
"I can. Do magic. I, I just can't control it anymore. It's...complicated," frowned Willow. She wrapped her arms around herself as if she were suddenly cold.  
  
"Oh," said Faith, not really understanding. "Tara! What about Tara? Can she..."  
  
"Tara!" repeated Buffy. "Oh, Will, I didn't call her. I'll, I'll do it right now, okay?"  
  
"No Buffy, it's okay. I should be the one."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah," nodded Willow.  
  
"What's going on?" inquired Faith.  
  
"Willow and Tara kinda broke up," said Dawn.   
  
"Dawn!" snapped Buffy, glaring icicles at her. "They didn't break up. They just...have a few things to work out," winced Buffy, instinctively putting a hand on Willow's shoulder.  
  
Willow weakly smiled but didn't deny what Dawn had said. No one spoke. And the silence was broken by the growling of Faith's stomach.  
  
"Um, Faith? Are you hungry? Can we get you something to eat?" asked Buffy.  
  
"No, um, I'm fine. Thanks."  
  
"Faith, when was the last time..."  
  
"Okay, maybe some toast. Or a buttered roll. Something I can pick up with my hands. I'm not really down with the whole fork and knife routine yet," sighed Faith, embarrassed.  
  
"I'll get it," said Willow, quickly standing up.  
  
"No, Will, I'll..."  
  
Buffy, I need something to do," winced Willow, her arms still wrapped tightly to her chest. "I, I need to keep busy."  
  
"Okay," smiled Buffy.  
  
After Willow had left Faith looked in Buffy's direction, knowing that she would be staring at her.  
  
"Those two going to be alright?" whispered Faith.  
  
"And you care why?" snapped Buffy.  
  
Faith looked away as if she had been slapped.  
  
"Sorry. That came out a little harsh," apologized Buffy.  
  
"No big," shrugged Faith.  
  
"I don't know. About them, I mean. Willow was doing too much magic and it drove Tara away. But they love each other. They just..."  
  
"Okay, I didn't need to hear her life story," said Faith.  
  
The room was quiet and Faith's stomach growled again.  
  
"Dawn, could you do me a favor. Please?" asked Faith gently.  
  
"I guess," shrugged Dawn.  
  
"Could...could you let me touch your face. I, um...I have to know. Is that okay?" winced Faith.  
  
Dawn looked at Buffy. Her sister nodded both her approval and her encouragement.  
  
"Sure," answered Dawn reluctantly.  
  
She got up and stood next to Faith. Faith sat there for a moment, not even looking up at her. Dawn reached down and put her hand over Faith's hand and slowly lifted it, resting it on the side of her cheek. Faith turned in her chair and with her other hand touched the other side of her face, gently rubbing her eyebrows and finally sliding her fingers through Dawn's hair.  
  
"Well?" demanded Dawn with a scowl on her face.  
  
"I...I don't know. It's not as easy as, well, like on television or something. And you're five years older now," said Faith, dropping her hands to her side. "But your voice. Damn it! Why can't I see you?"  
  
"So...who's sister am I?" said Dawn sarcastically.  
  
"Dawn," scolded Buffy.  
  
"Well? I mean, hey, maybe Xander will bump his head and think I'm his sister! Or, or some stranger will show up at our door and claim he's my father!" yelled Dawn.  
  
"Dawn, no...," began Buffy, standing up.  
  
"When does this, this, this..."  
  
"Shit?" ventured Faith.  
  
"Shit ever end?" barked Dawn, storming off.  
  
"Dawn!" yelled Buffy.  
  
Dawn slammed the front door shut as she left. Buffy turned to glare at Faith...but her anger melted away when she saw how upset Faith was.  
  
"I'm sorry, B. I had no right...you'd better go after her," warned Faith, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. Buffy sat back down.  
  
"No. We'll just let her be. Give her some time. She knows she is my sister. We, uh, kinda went through this the first time she found out," frowned Buffy.  
  
"She didn't know?"  
  
"No."  
  
That one word hung in the air between them. Faith looked towards the door where Dawn had gone, weighing the implications of this discovery. Buffy studied her, only now seeing how her clothes hung on her. She wasn't gaunt but Faith had lost weight. Buffy wondered what had happened to Faith in prison, what she must have gone through...and shook her head, clearing her reverie, remembering just who was sitting across from her.  
  
"So...what's new with you?" sighed Buffy.  
  
Faith raised her eyebrows in surprise.  
  
*****  
  
Still pouting even though no one would notice, Dawn sat down in front of the door. After all, where could she run off to? Besides, she wasn't as angry as she was scared. Maybe she could admit that to Buffy later. Maybe. She ran her hand over her left knee, thinking about the scar hidden there beneath her pants.  
  
Why had Faith remembered something that had happened when she was younger? Did it make her any less real? As much as Buffy had stressed to her that their blood was the same, that they were sisters no matter what Dawn's origins were, she still had her doubts. All she could do was trust in the way she felt about Buffy. And her mom.  
  
But why did Faith have feelings for her? She didn't know Faith. She had never met her or even heard her name mentioned. Dawn was staring down at the walk so intently that she didn't notice Tara until she was standing right in front of her.  
  
"Hey, Dawnie!" smiled Tara. Her voice didn't betray anything but Tara's usual happy disposition. But Dawn could see in her eyes that Tara probably hadn't slept much last night, if at all.  
  
"Hey," smiled Dawn.  
  
"Oh, wow. What's with the cast?" asked Tara, concerned. She sat down next to Dawn, hiking up her ankle length skirt and putting a small potted cactus that she held down on the step next to her.  
  
"Oh. I, um, got into an accident last night. It looks worse than it really is. I mean, it doesn't hurt so much as it itches, you know? Just a hairline fracture. Lucky, I guess. Could've been worse," shrugged Dawn.  
  
"Wait, you got into an accident...not, had an accident? What happened?" asked Tara, putting an arm around Dawn's shoulder while still looking at the cast.  
  
"We...I mean, Willow and I, we were in a car, trying to get away from this demon thingy..."  
  
"Wil-Willow was driving?"  
  
"Well, sorta. See, she was using magic to drive the car."  
  
Dawn ignored Tara's deflated look and kept on with the story.  
  
"Except Willow, she...she was kinda wild. Out of control. Her eyes were all..."  
  
"Black," nodded Tara, looking down, away from Dawn.  
  
"Yeah," frowned Dawn. "And we got into an accident. Hence the cast," added Dawn, holding up her arm.  
  
Tara's eyes suddenly opened wide.  
  
"Willow! Did she, did she get hurt?"  
  
"Oh, no. Willow's fine. Really," assured Dawn. But Tara didn't look relieved.  
  
"No, Dawnie, she isn't. Look, I, I um, have to go, okay?" said Tara, standing up.  
  
"Tara, wait! Don't you think you should talk to her?" whined Dawn.  
  
Tara took two steps and then stopped, looking back over her shoulder at Dawn. She could tell that Tara wanted desperately to talk with Willow. And Dawn knew that Tara wasn't going to stay.  
  
"But you don't understand," protested Dawn, getting to her feet.  
  
"No. I don't," winced Tara. "Dawn, I have to go."  
  
"Uh, what about your plant?" asked Dawn, trying to stall her.  
  
"It's Willow's. She left it at my place. Just...give it to her."  
  
And with that Tara walked quickly away.  
  
"Tara! Please, don't..."  
  
Dawn sighed and shook her head.  
  
*****  
  
"Here," said Willow, placing a plate down in front of Faith. "There's a buttered roll on the left and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the right. And a can of coke. Diet, but that's all we had."  
  
"Thank you," nodded Faith uncomfortably.  
  
"Sure. So, where's Dawn?" asked Willow.  
  
"She, um, she got a little upset and went outside," explained Buffy.  
  
"Upset? Why?"  
  
Buffy glanced across the table and Willow frowned at Faith with one side of her mouth.  
  
"She's upset because she doesn't understand how I can think she's my sister. Because," hesitated Faith, pausing to take a deep breath. "Because it challenges who she is. Makes her feel less than real."  
  
Buffy glanced at Willow, biting her lower lip. It sounded harsh to hear Faith's words spoken out loud, even if Buffy was thinking the same thing.  
  
"I'll go talk to her," sighed Willow.  
  
"Uh, Will? I thought she wasn't talking to you?" reminded Buffy.  
  
"There's that," agreed Willow. "But you want her running off again?"  
  
"Again?" said Faith.  
  
"I should go," said Buffy, starting to get up from her chair.  
  
"Sit!" commanded Willow. Buffy quickly sat back down. Willow glared but with approval.  
  
"Faith, eat. You're food's getting cold," said Willow before walking away.  
  
Faith mouthed the words 'getting cold' at Buffy and Buffy shrugged. Then she remembered that Faith couldn't see this gesture.  
  
"She's just being Willow," said Buffy.  
  
*****  
  
"Hey, Dawnie," said Willow, closing the door behind her. "And here I thought I'd have to go lookin' for ya. I thought I heard voices. Were you, uh, talking to someone?"  
  
"Yeah, Tara was...hold on, I'm not speaking to you yet," announced Dawn, crossing her arms.  
  
"Tara? Tara was here?" said Willow, quickly looking around. "She didn't stay?"  
  
"No," frowned Dawn, turning her back on Willow.  
  
"But...why?" begged Willow, the ache in her voice making Dawn lower her arms and face her.  
  
"She, well...I think she was upset," cringed Dawn.  
  
"Upset? Why would...oh! Your arm. She saw..."  
  
Dawn nodded. Willow ran out to the street, looking left and right.  
  
"Tara!"  
  
Willow quickly gave up and slunk back to stand in front of Dawn but held her eyes closed.  
  
"She did ask if you got hurt," said Dawn encouragingly.  
  
Willow slowly opened her eyes and glared menacingly at Dawn. Dawn's eyes opened in reaction to Willow's change of mood.  
  
"What did you tell her?" demanded Willow, hissing.  
  
"N-Nothing! Really, I..."  
  
Willow grabbed Dawn by both arms and pulled her close.  
  
"What did you tell her?" repeated Willow, much louder.  
  
"Ow! Willow, you're hurting me!" winced Dawn.  
  
Willow eased her grip but didn't let go. Instead, she brought her face closer to Dawn.  
  
"I, I told her what happened. That you used magic to drive the car and, and..."  
  
"And?" yelled Willow.  
  
"And that you were out of control!" snapped Dawn, pulling her arms free. She glared defiantly at Willow...and was shocked to see Willow's anger fade into despair. Beyond crying, Willow looked like she was going to be sick.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
Immediately the red head's rage returned.  
  
"I don't use magic anymore! I don't suppose you mentioned that to...to her?" choked Willow, unable to say Tara's name.  
  
"And how would I know that?" barked Dawn defensively.  
  
"Are you happy now? Does this make us even!?" yelled Willow. "Next time twist the knife a little deeper into my back!"  
  
And again Willow's anger vanished, replaced by tears. She ran past Dawn and opened the door, running up the stairs.  
  
"Willow! I'll, I'll go find her! I'll..."  
  
Dawn's shoulders slumped, wondering just how the hell any of this was her fault.  
  
"Willow!" yelled Buffy, freezing Willow on the stairs. She turned and Buffy took a step back, thrown by her friend's face. Her tears couldn't mask her seething fury.  
  
"Buffy...not now," warned Willow through clenched teeth.  
  
"Um...okay," winced Buffy. Willow turned to go. "But..."  
  
Willow's shoulders slumped. Buffy stepped forward, thinking she might actually collapse on the stairs.  
  
"What?" whispered Willow without turning to face her.  
  
"I, uh, was wondering why the whites of Faith's eyes were...well, kinda blue. And not kinda. They are blue."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I added something to Faith's food. It's a tracer. To see if she was under the influence of magic. Guess we got our answer," said Willow.  
  
Faith stopped in mid-bite and put the roll back down on the plate.  
  
"It's okay, Faith. The stuff's harmless and the effect should wear off in an hour. Or three," added Willow nonchalantly.  
  
"Should?" sighed Faith.  
  
"Buffy, I gotta..."  
  
"Go. You okay?" asked Buffy, though the concern didn't seem to be there.  
  
Willow looked at her and sadly shook her head.  
  
"No."  
  
Willow walked up the steps without looking back.  
  
"Try to get some sleep?" called Buffy. She turned to see Dawn standing there, embarrassed. Buffy hesitated and then opened her arms to her sister. With a little smile Dawn sought comfort in the embrace. Buffy rubbed her back with one hand but her face was blank.   
  
*****  
  
"Buffy, I'd be fine on the couch. Really," argued Faith.  
  
"No. I don't know how late it will be when I get back from patrol. I'd wake you up," said Buffy, pausing as she pulled the sheet down. She glanced up at Faith then looked at the white sheet in her hand. Somehow this felt familiar. This felt...Buffy shook her head and fluffed up the pillow.  
  
"Did Xander or Anya have any luck at the Magic shop? Research turn up anything?" asked Faith.  
  
"Uh, no. Not yet. But we'll start fresh tomorrow, hitting the books and...stuff," said Buffy, trying to sound encouraging. She turned to see Dawn standing in the doorway.  
  
"Just wanted to say goodnight," smiled Dawn, her eyes on Faith.  
  
"Goodnight," answered Buffy.  
  
"Goodnight," repeated Faith.  
  
"Um, Buffy? When was the last time you took a cross with you on patrol?" asked Dawn with a confused look. Buffy looked at the cross in her hand.  
  
"Oh. Um, no. I was....just picking up. Must've left this out," she laughed, opening a drawer and tossing the cross inside. Dawn's confused look didn't change as Buffy closed the drawer with her hip.   
  
Buffy scowled at Dawn, nodding her head towards Faith.  
  
"Faith, I'm right next door. If you need anything, just call out. I'm a light sleeper," offered Dawn.  
  
"Thanks," smiled Faith, nodding awkwardly.  
  
"I put a new toothbrush on the sink for you. It's right behind the faucet," added Dawn.  
  
"Thanks," answered Faith again.  
  
"Well...goodnight," said Dawn, quickly leaving.  
  
Faith swallowed, waiting until she heard Dawn's door close.  
  
"What's up with the cross, B? Some vamp giving you a hard time?"  
  
"Giving me a hard...um, no. No, of course not. Nothing hard...er, no."  
  
Faith answered her with a doubtful frown.   
  
"Willow gave me a pair of Tara's pajamas for you to wear. They're on the end of the bed here," said Buffy. "Might be a little big but..."  
  
"But it's better than sleeping stark naked. Wouldn't want to scare anyone if I had to get up in the middle of the night," laughed Faith. She leaned forward, touching the bed and finding the pajamas.  
  
"Well, Willow might not mind, but Dawn...um, hold on there, Faith," said Buffy as Faith pulled her top over her head. She stepped over to the window and pulled the shade down.  
  
"What?" asked Faith, shaking her hair loose and standing there in her black bra.  
  
"Almost had a Helen Keller moment there. The window?"  
  
"Oh. Eh, always thought Helen was an exhibitionist at heart," smiled Faith.  
  
"Sure she was. Okay, gotta go."  
  
"Good luck hunting," said Faith.  
  
"Thanks," answered Buffy. She hesitated, wondering what else there was to say. Then she left. Faith undid her bra and slipped into Tara's top, finding that it fit pretty good as she buttoned it up. She stepped out of her pants and pulled on the pajama bottoms, fumbling for a moment with the drawstring. With a sigh she slowly made her way out into the hall, hand outstretched to follow the wall, pausing in front of Willow's door.  
  
"Mind if I join the party?" asked Faith.  
  
"Party? What..."  
  
"I can't see but I can smell an open bottle of whiskey. Thought you'd be more of a wine guzzling girl," smiled Faith.  
  
"I am. I mean, I prefer wine. To whiskey. When I drink, that is. Which isn't...and I don't guzzle. Hey, I don't even drink. It's just..."  
  
"Red, relax. I don't care," said Faith, interrupting Willow's stumbling ramble.  
  
"I thought a sip...or two...would help me sleep. That's all," sighed Willow, looking like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "You want?"  
  
"Oh, um, no. No, I'd better not."  
  
"You'd better not? Party girl Faith, turning down a drink? I don't get it," said Willow, putting the cap back on the whiskey bottle and putting it on the dresser next to a now full glass. She looked at Faith and was surprised to see that Faith was more than embarrassed; she was at a loss for words.  
  
"Hey, it's not like I have to defend my reputation, ya know? I can drink you under the table and still kick some vampire's ass," stated Faith, though her voice lacked her usual conviction.  
  
Willow crossed her arms and studied her. It wasn't long before Faith lowered her head and took a deep breath.  
  
"Can you keep a secret?" whispered Faith.  
  
"Sure," shrugged Willow, suspicious yet curious.  
  
"I um...I have an ulcer. That's why I shouldn't...so, go on and laugh. I mean, what's more pathetic? A blind Slayer or one with an ulcer?" grinned Faith, her voice bitter.  
  
"Oh. Sorry. I had no idea," winced Willow.  
  
Faith stood there, still looking down. Willow frowned and then walked over to her. Faith looked up, hearing her approaching.  
  
"Faith, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, the stuff a Slayer has to deal with..."  
  
"Or the shit a Slayer inflicts on others," corrected Faith quickly. Willow knew that Faith had only let her guard down for a moment. She pressed on, hoping Faith wouldn't block her out.  
  
"How do I say this without sounding condescending? Faith...do you regret what you've done? Is that why you have an ulcer?"   
  
A flash of anger contorted Faith's face and Willow took a step back. She wasn't sure if Faith was ashamed or embarrassed by revealing this rage but just as quickly Faith winced in pain.  
  
"Regret is not the word I would choose. Regret means never letting go. And if I couldn't...well, let's just say I'd have gone insane by now. Not that you ever doubted my sanity, right?" laughed Faith.  
  
"Hey, I didn't mean to..."  
  
"Is this where you tell me that since I'm blind I should look within? See the person that I am? Where do you think I've been? How do you think I blocked out the sounds of that place at night? You close your eyes, tightly, shutting down and you relive...everything. Over and over. And if you don't feel like you want to vomit it just means you're numb. No wonder people don't change...no one gives you a chance to make amends inside. I..."  
  
Faith stopped, suddenly seeming deflated.  
  
"Sorry," whispered Faith. "Sorry."  
  
"No, I kinda deserved that," sighed Willow, relieved that Faith had calmed down. Faith leaned against the door.  
  
"Tara didn't return your calls, did she?" asked Faith softly.  
  
"No," breathed Willow sadly, looking down. "How...how did you know?"  
  
"I can hear it in your voice. And...that's not the first glass you've had tonight, right?" asked Faith, nodding in the direction of the bottle. Willow slowly raised her eyes. Faith touched a finger to the side of her nose.  
  
"Your breath," shrugged Faith.  
  
"Oh," confessed Willow.  
  
"Red, trust me when I tell you that drinking won't help."  
  
"I know. We should, uh..."  
  
"Get to bed," agreed Faith.  
  
"Yeah. Faith, we'll tackle the books tomorrow. I'm sure I can find something that will help you."  
  
"But you said..."  
  
"I know. I can't do the magic. It's just too dangerous for me right now. But maybe Tara can, if I help her. She's not as...I'll talk to her, okay?"  
  
"Thanks. Willow, can I ask you for a favor?" said Faith hesitantly.  
  
"Sure," smiled Willow, almost laughing.  
  
"Can you get me a glass of milk? It's, uh, good for my stomach. Besides, I hear it helps you fall asleep."  
  
"Not a problem," agreed Willow happily, slipping her hand into the grip of a surprised Slayer. "I'll help guide you to the bathroom first."  
  
"Thanks," smiled Faith. "And if you tell anyone I was drinking milk, you know I'll have to kill you, right?"  
  
"And if you tell Tara I let you sleep in her PJs, I'll have to kill you. Fair enough?"  
  
Faith laughed.  
  
"Looking real good in those, I might add," grinned Willow, feeling Faiths hand tense.  
  
It was Willow's turn to laugh.  
  
*****  
  
She smiled and her hand reached out. But the bed beside her was empty, cold. Tara's eyes sprung open and she yanked her hand back, embarrassed at how her body had betrayed her. With a sigh she rolled over and noticed the blinking red light by the phone. Wincing, she pressed the button.   
  
"Tara, honey, please call me as soon as you get this message. It doesn't matter how late it is. Just...call, okay? Please? We need to talk. I need...I need you."  
  
The machine clicked off. Tara held her hand over the erase button but couldn't bring herself to press it. Instead she hit the save button and rolled back over into bed.  
  
"That was your last message. I will save message," chimed the mechanical voice on her machine. The tape whined as it rewound.  
  
Tara eased onto her side and pulled the pillow next to her close to her body, hugging it. She glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. She rubbed her cheek against the pillow but couldn't close her eyes.  
  
END OF PART TWO 


	3. Part Three

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART THREE  
  
Buffy sat down in the dark alley, finally admitting to herself that she wasn't patrolling. She was hiding. Pulling her legs up, she rested her chin on her knees and concentrated on the sounds of the night, listening to distract, listening to avoid thinking. She was concentrating so hard that she never heard him until he was standing at the entrance to the alley. Still, she knew he was there. Buffy closed her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"I don't appreciate being stalked," she stated without looking up.  
  
His footsteps came closer. She could hear the cigarette he held burn, could feel the leather of his jacket as it moved with him as he walked, its scent washing over her. And then he was standing next to her. Buffy raised her head but didn't look at him.  
  
"I'm not stalking anyone, Slayer. I'm just out for a stroll."  
  
He took one last drag and tossed the cigarette away from them.  
  
"Spike, I thought I told you to stay away from me."  
  
"What can I say? Never believed in that absence makes the heart grow fonder tripe. Truth be told, I think you want to see me," smiled Spike.  
  
Buffy slowly stood up and met his gaze. Spike's smile grew into a grin.  
  
"Back to wearing that silver cross around your neck, I see."  
  
"Old habits die hard," replied Buffy.  
  
"And some things never die. What say we have another go at it? Or haven't you recovered enough from our last tryst?"  
  
"Wow, ever the hopeless romantic. I can't imagine how Drusilla ever let you get away," challenged Buffy.  
  
"Who needs romance? Your needs are on a much more primal level, are they not? Admit it, Buffy. It's not love...yet...but what I have to offer, at least it's something you can feel."  
  
Spike's words were harsh but he had said them softly, almost tenderly. Buffy turned away, unable to look at him. He put his hand against the wall beside her and she slowly turned back to look at him, her lowering lip quivering. Spike leaned in, hinting at a kiss but wanting her to make the first move.  
  
"Spike. You...you told me that you love me," whispered Buffy.  
  
"That I did," smiled Spike.  
  
"And do you want to see me dead? Again?" asked Buffy, her voice a little louder this time.  
  
"No. No, why would you say that?" said Spike, lowering his arm.  
  
"Because you know how dangerous what I do is, how one little distraction, one hesitation..."  
  
Buffy didn't have to finish. He could see her eyes pleading with him.  
  
"Spike, I need some time. Just leave me alone. Please?" begged Buffy.  
  
Spike slowly looked down. And took a step back from her.  
  
"I, uh, hadn't thought about that," whispered Spike.  
  
Buffy watched his lips as he spoke, mesmerized. She winced and quickly walked past him.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Buffy froze but didn't turn around.  
  
"Isn't feeling something...doesn't that help?"  
  
She looked back over her shoulder, her eyes clouding with tears but her voice firm.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Buffy turned and ran from the alley.  
  
*****   
  
Faith walked very slowly, her left arm extended so that her hand touched the wall as she made her way down the hall. She paused, hearing a muffled...cry? Moving ahead, her fingers came to a door. This would be Willow's room. Faith hesitated, unsure of what to do until she heard a moan from the other side of the door.  
  
"Willow?" called Faith, rapping her knuckles against the wood. She heard sheets rustling, then silence. Faith cringed, just now realizing that Tara might have come back and she was now interrupting...something.  
  
"Come in," answered Willow. Faith found the doorknob, twisted the handle and pushed the door open. She didn't enter the room.  
  
"Hey. You okay?" asked Faith.  
  
"Yeah. Just can't sleep," said Willow weakly. Faith couldn't see that she was sitting up in bed.  
  
"That sounded convincing," commented Faith sarcastically.  
  
"Yeah. Guess it did at that," sighed Willow. "Oh, I didn't wake you, did I?"  
  
"No. Couldn't sleep either. Just fumbling back from the bathroom. Thought for sure I'd knock something over and wake the whole house up," smiled Faith.  
  
"Need some help getting back to..."  
  
"No. Red...I'm sorry. Willow. What's wrong? This have something to do with you giving up magic? Buffy kinda hinted at a few things but left out the juicy details."  
  
"There's little in the way of citrusy goodness. It has everything to do with giving up magic. But, well, I had a pretty okay day, you know? I didn't think I'd feel like this again tonight," said Willow, her voice hinting at the pain she felt.  
  
"So it's withdrawal? You mean like the shakes?" asked Faith.  
  
"It's withdrawal, it's payback...it sucks," admitted Willow, leaning her head back against the headboard. She wrapped her arms around herself as her body involuntarily convulsed. Wincing, she was glad that Faith couldn't see her.  
  
"You shouldn't be alone. Want me to get Dawn?"  
  
"No," replied Willow quickly, her voice rising. "No, we uh...just don't bother her, okay?"  
  
Faith made her way over to the bed. Willow stared at her the whole time.  
  
"Almost there," warned Willow.  
  
"You can see me?"  
  
"The night light's on," admitted Willow.  
  
"Oh," said Faith, stopping and reaching out until she found the bed. She sat down on its edge, either by choice or luck as far from Willow as possible.   
  
"Tara didn't call?" asked Faith gently.  
  
"No," whispered Willow.  
  
"Oh. Sorry," shrugged Faith. "Want me to see...um, okay, bad choice of words there. Want me to check if Buffy's back from patrol yet?"  
  
"No. No, I can't...no," sighed Willow. "I don't want to bother her. I can't. Not after what I did to her."  
  
Faith didn't say anything for a moment.  
  
"Wait. What you did to her? You brought your best friend back from the dead! Someone want to clue me in on the downside here?"  
  
"Guess you got the short version, huh? She didn't tell you where she was?" choked Willow.  
  
"Um...no. Kinda figured she was in hell or, or got sucked into Glory's dimension."  
  
"Yeah. Common mistake, that. Funny in a not so funny way," whispered Willow, sniffing. She didn't look at Faith, letting her silence sink in and make it's weight felt.  
  
"Oh. Oh my God. I...Willow, you didn't know. You can't blame..."  
  
"Myself? Who else should I blame? And it gets even better. Buffy's numb. She, she can't feel anything. Well, anything but pain. She wasn't in hell before...but she is now," sniffed Willow.  
  
"Damn," whispered Faith. "Willow, you need to talk to her."  
  
"And say what? Oops. Sorry, Buffy, but um, if you get yourself killed I promise not to do it again." Willow wiped her eyes.  
  
"Doesn't matter what you say. Doesn't matter if you say anything. You just have to sit down and let her know how you feel," said Faith.  
  
Oh, like you did?" sneered Willow. She got even madder as Faith looked at her but of course couldn't make eye contact and instead seemed to be staring at her neck.  
  
"Ouch. Good comeback," winced Faith.  
  
"Faith, she doesn't care what I feel because she can't feel. She's a living corpse. Get it?" yelled Willow.  
  
Faith lowered her head but didn't move. Willow was shocked that she didn't leave, didn't at least lash out at her with a clever retort.  
  
"Mind if I stay? We can...talk. About anything. About nothing," shrugged Faith, suddenly not sure what to do with her hands. She pressed them against her thighs.  
  
Willow's eyes opened wide in surprise.  
  
"Um...yeah. Yeah, I'd like that. I really don't want to be alone right now," admitted Willow.   
  
"I hear ya," smiled Faith, rubbing her arms.  
  
"You cold?" asked Willow. Faith nodded.  
  
"Here. Lay down," said Willow, pulling back the sheets next to her. Faith hesitated but slowly eased herself down, laying rigidly on her back. Willow tossed the sheet over her.  
  
"Sorry I yelled," offered Willow.  
  
"No big. I understand where you're coming from."  
  
They lay there, not talking, not moving. Willow stared at the ceiling, occasionally glancing at Faith. Faith listened to Willow's labored breathing, felt her body twitch and shiver.  
  
"You want me to get another blanket?" asked Faith.  
  
"No. It wouldn't help," sighed Willow.  
  
Faith moved her hand and accidentally brushed up against Willow's arm. Willow pulled back and Faith moved her hand back to where it was. But she felt Willow tremble, shaking worse than before. And she felt Willow's hand slowly cover her own. Faith held her breath...and Willow slipped her fingers in between hers, suddenly gripping, holding on tightly.  
  
"Faith?" whispered Willow.  
  
"Yeah?" answered Faith, her fingers finally responding.  
  
"I...can you...I mean..."  
  
Willow's voice was empty. Faith bit her lower lip. Neither of them spoke. Willow's hand was cold and damp.  
  
"Willow, just say it," encouraged Faith. She didn't answer right away but turned her head to look at Faith.  
  
"Can you hold me? I'm sorry, but, but I'm just so scared, you know?"  
  
"I know. I've been there," nodded Faith.  
  
Faith rolled onto her side and pulled free her hand. Awkwardly, hesitating, she placed Willow's hand on her waist and wrapped her arm over Willow's back. Her forehead touched Willow's, her skin slick with perspiration. Faith rubbed her hand across Willow's back.  
  
"Thank you," whispered Willow through chattering teeth. Faith didn't say anything.  
  
"I never thought of you as being afraid. Of anything," said Willow.  
  
"I am human, Red," smiled Faith.  
  
"I know. I didn't mean..."  
  
"Shh. Close your eyes."  
  
Willow nodded and nuzzled closer against Faith's shoulder, her nose pressed against the pajama top. She inhaled and Faith knew Willow was thinking about Tara.  
  
"Missing Tara is only making this worse, isn't it?"  
  
Willow didn't answer but her face contorted as she tightly clenched her eyes to hold back the tears.  
  
"I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask," winced Faith.  
  
Willow moaned, a cry felt more than heard by Faith.  
  
"I was doing too much magic and I promised to stop. But I didn't. I lied to her. God I miss her so," whimpered Willow.  
  
"She left over a lie?"  
  
"No. No, it's worse than that," said Willow, pulling away. "We argued about it and I did a spell to make her forget."  
  
"But she found out," sighed Faith.  
  
"Yep. So she doesn't trust me. Hell, she's afraid of me! And how can she love me if...oh, Faith. I blew it! I was so stupid," cried Willow, pressing her face against Faith's chest.  
  
"Shh," comforted Faith, holding Willow's head against her and running her fingers through her hair. "Willow, you made a mistake. We all do. Tara loves you...she'll forgive you."  
  
"No, she won't," wailed Willow.  
  
"You're right, she won't. Not unless you forgive yourself first."  
  
Willow became still and then, sniffing, pulled away from Faith, her face only a breath apart from Faith.  
  
"Really?" whispered Willow, the ache in her voice pleading for release.  
  
"Really. That and a lot of begging," said Faith seriously. Willow actually laughed.  
  
"Everything seems worse at night. Wait 'til tomorrow. You'll see," promised Faith.  
  
"Thank you," smiled Willow gratefully. She lay her head back upon Faith's shoulder. Her body shivered and Faith rubbed her back.  
  
"There must've been times before when you couldn't fall asleep. What did Tara do...um, you know, maybe I better not ask that," smiled Faith.  
  
"Didn't think that one through, did you?" smiled Willow.  
  
"Not exactly," laughed Faith.  
  
"Tell me a story," said Willow.  
  
"What? You're kidding me, right?"  
  
"Nope. Doesn't matter what. I just want to hear the sound of your voice."  
  
"Ookaay." Faith thought for a moment, noticing that Willow wasn't shivering much anymore.  
  
"Well, I know this one about a little girl who was really into red leather and she had to bring some booze to her grandmother's house but there was this big bad wolf..."  
  
"I already heard that one," yawned Willow.  
  
"Yeah, you probably did."  
  
Willow settled more comfortably against Faith's arm. Faith smiled. And she took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.  
  
"I know one you never heard. Once upon a time there was this girl. And she wasn't happy...so she ran away from home. At first she didn't know where to go, but then she remembered a story that her, her friend told her. About another girl who lived in a far off land. But this girl was special. And this girl was...she was so much like her, they could've been sisters."  
  
"I like this story," mumbled Willow. Faith smiled.  
  
"And the girl who ran away finally came to this far off land. Now she never had any friends growing up, so she didn't know how to act, how to fit in...so she told stories to impress people. Oh, there was some truth in them. Our runaway never had much of an imagination," chuckled Faith. She took another deep breath before continuing.  
  
"But she embellished a little. Or maybe more than a little. And these two girls met. Now our little runaway wanted to be friends...she just, she just didn't know how. And the girl she wanted to be friends with...well, she was scared. Because she couldn't admit how much alike they were, even though, deep down, she knew it was true. And our runaway was scared because...because she wanted so badly to trust her new friend, but she was afraid to. And I...I mean, this girl...Willow?"  
  
Willow's breathing had become more relaxed.  
  
"You want me to continue the story? It really doesn't have a happy ending, what with all the jealously and betrayal and...Willow?" whispered Faith.   
Faith smiled, realizing that Willow had fallen asleep. She ran her fingers through Willow's hair and, gently, held her just a little tighter. She closed her eyes, an unseen and unanswered tear running down her cheek.  
  
"Everything's worse at night...when it's completely dark. Red, do you know how long it's been since anyone has touched me? Just...simply held me?" whispered Faith.  
  
Faith lay there, so grateful to just feel Willow's breath against her skin.   
  
*****  
  
Buffy closed the door behind her and rubbed her eyes, glancing up the stairs. Willow's door was open and her light was on. Closing her eyes for a moment, Buffy reluctantly but quietly made her way up the stairs. She reached out, about to knock on Willow's door, but froze, her hand held out before her, her eyes opening wide.  
  
Willow and Faith were sound asleep in each other's arms. Buffy backed out of the room, looked back in just to confirm what she had seen and then walked away.  
  
"Well...at least they both had clothes on," sighed Buffy, shaking her head.  
  
*****  
  
Faith awoke but didn't bother to open her eyes, knowing how futile it would be. She lay motionless, listening to Willow's shallow breathing, enjoying the hint of strawberries held within her hair. The house was still so there was no way for Faith to know what time it was. But she felt rested so she knew she had slept undisturbed for at least a few hours. And how long had it been since she had done that?  
  
Willow moved, shifting her weight. Faith felt her arm slide over her back, nudging Faith closer, felt Willow's cheek brush against her own.  
  
"Tara?" murmured Willow.  
  
Faith tensed, unsure if she should pretend to still be asleep or if she should smile and laugh, making light of the situation. But then she remembered exactly how deeply Willow was hurting and froze in her indecision.  
  
"Oh. Oh!" exclaimed Willow as she opened her eyes. She tried to pull away but her arm was under Faith's neck.  
  
"Morning, Red. What's wrong? My breath that bad?" smiled Faith bravely, though whether it was for her benefit or Willow's she didn't know. She raised her head and Willow slid her arm out.  
  
"Huh? Um, no. I, I must've been dreaming. That's all."  
  
"Well, I'm glad you were able to get some sleep. What time is it?" asked Faith casually, as if waking up in another girl's arms was an everyday occurrence.  
  
"Um...almost seven o'clock," answered Willow, sitting up to look at the alarm clock. "I don't think Buffy or Dawn are up yet."  
  
"No, they aren't. I would've heard."  
  
"Oh. So you've been awake for awhile," said Willow, surprised.  
  
"Not long. I just didn't want to wake you. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better, thanks. But the day is young. I'll get in the bathroom first, okay?" asked Willow, stepping out of bed.  
  
"Sure. And I'll sneak back into my own bed. Girl's got a reputation to consider, you know?" smiled Faith as she sat up.  
  
Willow stood there and Faith hesitated, hearing that Willow hadn't moved. And Willow slowly smiled.  
  
"Faith, your bed is cold and this one's warm. Stay. I'll go make us some coffee. I think I'll need some caffeine today."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Hey, I've got a reputation to consider too, you know. And I don't mind anyone knowing that I slept with a Slayer," grinned Willow. "How many people can say that? Oh. Oh! I didn't mean..."  
  
Faith laughed and tossed a pillow in Willow's direction but Willow easily stepped aside.  
  
"How do you like your coffee?" asked Willow.  
  
"Black and bitter, just like your sense of humor," answered Faith.  
  
Willow smiled and shook her head. And then she wondered if this was the same girl they had last seen. Had Faith changed or was she just...afraid...because she was blind? Faith knew that Willow hadn't moved and was probably watching her.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
"Just wanted to say thank you. For last night."  
  
"You're welcome," answered Faith without hesitation.  
  
Sure, she had shrugged her shoulders. But for the first time that Willow could remember, Faith had accepted a compliment.  
  
*****  
  
Faith tightened the belt around her robe and loosened the towel from her hair, letting it drop onto the floor. She tentatively reached around until she found the brush Willow had left for her next to the sink.   
  
"No sense standing in front of the mirror," complained Faith out loud. She opened the bathroom door and centered herself in the doorway, remembering that it was twenty two steps down the hall and she would be standing in front of Buffy's bedroom. Before she took her first step she sensed that someone was standing in front of her.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
"No. It's Dawn. Good morning."  
  
"Morning," nodded Faith.  
  
"Um, look, I know you're not an invalid or anything, but..."  
  
Dawn took Faith's hand into her own.  
  
"Let me help you back to your room."  
  
Faith smiled and held Dawn's hand more firmly.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
They made their way back to the room and Dawn practically pushed Faith onto the bed.  
  
"Sit," ordered Dawn, taking the brush from Faith's hand. "So...you sleep okay?"  
  
"Yeah. You?"   
  
"Yeah," nodded Dawn. "You're kinda mirror challenged at the moment. Thought you might need help brushing your hair. Is, um...that okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Thanks," smiled Faith.  
  
Dawn began brushing Faith's hair, gently tugging when she hit a snag. Faith flinched, causing Dawn to smile.  
  
"I thought Slayers were tougher than that. I didn't pull that hard," teased Dawn.  
  
"No, it's not that. You're doing fine," whispered Faith. But Dawn could see that Faith was uncomfortable.  
  
"Faith, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Really," smiled Faith, though she knew Dawn could see how her lips tensed.  
  
Dawn continued to brush her hair but watched Faith's face.  
  
"Guess I'm just not used to people taking care of me, you know? Having to depend on others...never even thought about that. It's...weird," shrugged Faith.  
  
Dawn studied Faith for a moment.  
  
"No. It's more than that," said Dawn.  
  
Faith lowered her head and nodded.  
  
"That obvious, huh?"  
  
She reached out and found Dawn's hand. Dawn let her take it and Faith gave it a little squeeze but quickly let it go.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"It's just...you used to depend on me. I looked after you, kept you away from mom when she was drunk. I, I used to comb your hair. Just like this. But you don't remember," whispered Faith, her voice breaking.  
  
Dawn stood there and took a deep breath. And then she began brushing Faith's hair again. Neither of them spoke.  
  
*****  
  
Faith sat, resting her chin on the back of couch, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight coming through the front window on her face. She didn't turn her head when she heard the others come down the stairs and open the front door. Buffy motioned for Willow to take Dawn outside and walked over to the couch.  
  
"Faith, you sure you don't want to come with? Might do you good to get out of the house for a while," suggested Buffy.  
  
Faith looked up and shook her head.  
  
"No. I mean, I appreciate what you guys are doing, trying to help me. But I know what the others think of me. I've seen it, remember? Both from my perspective...and yours."  
  
Buffy's hand clenched into a fist but then she relaxed, blocking out the memory.  
  
"Can I get you something before I go? You didn't eat much at breakfast. As in not much at all."  
  
"No. My stomach's a little queasy this morning. But...thanks," smiled Faith.  
  
"Okay," agreed Buffy, still not making a step towards the door.  
  
"B...what if, what if Willow can't find a cure? What good is a blind Slayer? I mean, what do I have to offer? Who am I? How...how do I make amends? Not that I can ever..."  
  
Faith turned away and faced the window again.  
  
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Willow's good. Better than Good. She's...Willow. She'll figure something out," said Buffy, trying to sound encouraging. She stood there for a moment but Faith didn't say anything. Buffy turned to go.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
Buffy stopped and took a deep breath but didn't turn around.  
  
"I wish we were strangers."  
  
"What?" answered Buffy, looking back over her shoulder.  
  
"I wish we were strangers. That we had just met...so we could start all over. Things should've been so different," whispered Faith, still facing the warmth of the sun.  
  
"Yeah. I get that," whispered Buffy in return.  
  
Faith didn't move even when the front door clicked shut. She closed her eyes, letting the sun's warmth make her sleepy. Even so, she heard the footsteps out front even before she heard the knock on the door.  
  
"It's open," called Faith, instinctively not saying to come in, even though it was daylight and this wasn't her house.  
  
"Hello? Where is...oh! Faith! You...you're out of prison."  
  
"Hey Tara. Yep, it's me, in the flesh. I keep telling everyone I got out with time off for good behavior, but no one seems to buy that," smiled Faith.  
  
Tara stepped back towards the door which she hadn't closed yet.  
  
"You don't have to run off. Guess they didn't tell you about me, did they?"  
  
"Um, no. No, I think I w-wo-would have remembered," answered Tara, still inching backwards but not turning her back to the Slayer.  
  
"Tara!"  
  
Tara froze, somewhat confused as to why Faith was still sitting on the couch.  
  
"Chill out. I'm not wearing these sunglasses indoors as a fashion statement. I'm blind. And even if I wasn't, I'm not going to hurt you. Okay?"  
  
"Blind? You, you're blind? How?"  
  
"Magic. No doubt about it, either. Willow put something in my food, made my eyes all blue. You know, I never asked anyone if that cleared up," said Faith to herself.  
  
"Blue? Oh, right. Yeah, that would, um, yeah. Someone did something to you. Magic-wise, I mean," nodded Tara. "Oh...how did you know it was me?"  
  
"I recognized your voice. And the stuttering. We met, but I wasn't who you thought I was," smiled Faith.  
  
"Oh! Right! Right," repeated Tara uncomfortably.  
  
"Everyone's at the Magic Shop in full research mode. I know you don't want to stay, but I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes."  
  
Tara studied Faith, hooked by how sincere her voice sounded.  
  
"Sure. I'll just, just shut the door," smiled Tara awkwardly. She shut the door and came back into the room but didn't sit down. Faith sighed.  
  
"Tara, please...sit down. I'm harmless. Really. I know I deserve this but, um, the girl you sorta met...or at least heard about? She's dead. I'm not her," said Faith, her voice firm like a promise.  
  
"Oh. That's, um, good," smiled Tara weakly as she sat down on a chair across from Faith. "So...then who are you?"  
  
Faith shifted uneasily on the couch, bringing her hands together in front of her.  
  
"Wow, that's...that's kinda deep and philosophical for this early in the morning, isn't it?" frowned Faith uncomfortably. Tara didn't say anything. She watched Faith, studying her body language.  
  
"Tara, I don't know the answer to that question," whispered Faith.  
  
Tara still didn't speak. Faith looked down, wringing her hands nervously. Tara smiled and stood up. Faith heard her approaching, felt her sit down on the couch next to her, but didn't look up.  
  
"Well, at least I know now that you're being honest. Besides the obvious, isn't that why you're here?" asked Tara.  
  
Faith stilled her hands and slowly raised her head, turning to face Tara.  
  
"Even Buffy hasn't thought of that. Willow's a lucky girl, you know that?" said Faith, almost smiling. Tara almost smiled in return.  
  
"Wish she knew that," whispered Tara under her breath.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Faith smiled, not wanting to reveal that her enhanced hearing allowed her to hear what Tara had said. And then her smile faded.  
  
"I can tell her that I'm sorry, and I really mean that. I do. But what I need is for her to forgive me. And I can't ask...what I mean is, I don't deserve it. With all she's been through, I'm the last thing she needs to deal with right now," sighed Faith. "But..."  
  
"But she's afraid. She can't trust you. So how can she forgive you?" nodded Tara, now looking at her own hands.  
  
"We still talking about Buffy?" hinted Faith. Tara's head snapped up, shocked at Faith's insight. She changed the subject.  
  
"Faith, I'm pretty sure I know the spell that was used on you."  
  
"So you can help me?" asked Faith excitedly.  
  
"Me? I, I don't think so," winced Tara. "We're talking powerful magicks. But Willow can. I know she can. She's...Willow."  
  
"No. She can't," said Faith, saying the words as if they were painful to utter.  
  
"What? Oh. You mean she told you she won't help you?" asked Tara, confused.  
  
"Tara, Willow gave up magic. And not because she can't control it anymore. She wants you back. Least that's the Reader's Digest version," sighed Faith.  
  
"She, she told you that?"  
  
Faith sat up straighter and frowned at Tara.  
  
"And why is that so hard to believe? Do you have any idea how much pain she's in?" asked Faith, her words tinged with anger.  
  
"I don't doubt it. Willow, she...she's been into some dark stuff lately. There's always a price to pay," sighed Tara. "Always."  
  
"I wasn't talking about magic," said Faith, shaking her head.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Tara released her breath raggedly, not even aware she had been holding it in.  
  
"Take it from me, Tara. You can't run away from this. You need to face her, confront her...talk to her," said Faith softly.  
  
"I know," whispered Tara.  
  
"So why are you still sitting here?"  
  
Faith felt Tara rise from the couch.  
  
"You want to come with me?" offered Tara. "Get out of here for awhile?"  
  
"No. No, I got some thinkin' to do."  
  
"Okay. I'd better..."  
  
"Go," finished Faith. Faith heard her footsteps but not her goodbye.  
  
"Tara."  
  
"Yes?" she replied, one hand on the doorknob.  
  
"Good luck. And, um...thanks for the talk."  
  
"Thank you," smiled Tara.  
  
Faith stood as soon as the door closed.  
  
"Guess I have some packing to do. Only a fool would choose me over...over someone that deserved to be loved."  
  
END OF PART THREE 


	4. Part Four

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART FOUR  
  
"So, tell me again. Why are we still pretending to be reading these books? I mean, Willow found the spell. She knows what to do. She just has to do it...or undo it," said Anya, scrunching her nose.  
  
"Honey, we're not pretending. We're trying to see if Faith can be cured without, well, Willow having to...you know," hinted Xander.  
  
"No, she's right," sighed Willow, slamming shut a book. "We're not going to find an easier way to help Faith. We should be grateful we even found one way."  
  
"This is easy?" asked Buffy skeptically, glancing over Willow's shoulder at the list of ingredients she had written down in a notebook.  
  
"For some people," said Willow, rolling her eyes.  
  
"But not for Tara?" said Buffy, knowing the answer before she asked.  
  
Willow closed her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"No."  
  
Willow picked up the notebook but her hand was shaking so badly that she tossed it back onto the table. Embarrassed, she slipped her hand under her leg. Buffy was going to say something to her but settled back into her chair.  
  
"Hey, look on the bright side. You need the ingredients? Look around you. Not a problem," smiled Anya.  
  
"One or two are kinda rare," frowned Willow.  
  
"Again, not a problem. I can special order them and have them shipped overnight by express mail," smiled Anya.  
  
"That's a good," agreed Willow. "Oh, but I'm kinda short on cash right now."  
  
"Now we have a problem," said Anya, no longer smiling.  
  
"Anya!" complained Xander.  
  
"Oh, alright!" whined Anya. "You people don't seem to have a grasp on this whole capitalism thing."  
  
Everyone around the table leaned back in their chairs, grateful to get away from the books. And it soon became awkwardly obvious that no one seemed to be looking at Willow. Even Willow noticed. She exhaled, puffing her bangs up off her forehead.  
  
"Dawnie, what's up? You look a little...distracted," offered Willow.  
  
"You know, I wish everyone would stop calling me that! My name is Dawn. I'm not a little kid anymore!" snapped Dawn, pushing away from the table and walking off towards the front window. Willow tensed, not moving but following Dawn with her eyes.  
  
"Yikes," said Xander, looking to Buffy for an explanation.  
  
"We have to cut her some slack. Or lots of slack. I think she's a little wigged about this whole thing of Faith remembering her as a sister. But I think she's handling it...good. She's good. In a moody sorta way," frowned Buffy. "But a good moody way."  
  
"Well, I'm not on board with the handling. I mean, I know Faith tried to hurt Dawnie...Dawn," corrected Xander. "At least I think I know that I thought I did. It's like I forgot where I put something...and I can't remember what it was, but I know I lost it."  
  
"Yeah. What you said...I think. Now if I could only forget what she did to me," sighed Buffy. "Makes it hard to...never mind."  
  
"I hate to be the one who mentions the elephant in the room that everyone sees but no one wants to talk about...again...but do we really want to help Faith? We're talking about a psycho-killer with a proven track record and super strength," grimaced Anya. "This whole feel sorry for me act might just be...well, a feel sorry for me act."  
  
"No. No, I think she's changed. I really do," asserted Willow.  
  
"Really?" asked Xander, surprised. "You've never exactly been a member of the Faith fan club. Why the one eighty?"  
  
"Well, we, we spent some time together...recently. And I got to know her a little better. I just think she's being sincere," affirmed Willow, reluctantly doodling on the notebook in front of her with a pen. Buffy raised her eyebrows in concern but didn't look at Willow.  
  
"You slept with her!" shouted Anya.  
  
"What? No! Well, no in the biblical sense. Not that what I do with Tara can be found in the Song of Solomon...er, again with the no! I, I was having a really bad night. She stayed with me. Purely platonic," sighed Willow, pouting. She cast a look at Buffy and Buffy cringed, knowing that she should've been there for her.  
  
"Xander, stop thinking what I know you're thinking," warned Anya with an elbow to his ribs.  
  
Xander winced and was going to protest but his face turned red. Willow rolled her eyes with her own protest.  
  
"I don't think it's an act. Something's different. There's a spark that's just not there anymore," said Willow.  
  
"I can see why you'd want to sleep with her. She is quite attractive, even for a blind person," nodded Anya.  
  
"I didn't...oh, why bother!" sighed Willow, throwing her hands up in the air.  
  
Xander looked at Anya out of the corner of his eye.   
  
"You find Faith attractive?" he asked, somewhat apprehensively yet trying at the same time to hide his smile. She noticed...and punched him in the arm. He held up a finger to make a point of protest but then smiled.  
  
"That's okay, I actually deserved that," grinned Xander.  
  
"Act or no act, Faith scares me," replied Anya.  
  
"So do I," whispered Buffy, a little louder than she meant to. The others stared at her.  
  
"Buffy!" winced Willow.  
  
"Well, I do. None of you know how to act around me anymore, always afraid you're going to say the wrong thing. Always so, so full of pity. It's too much! Just...be yourselves!"  
  
"And what, act like nothing's happened? Buffy, we just want to help," consoled Xander.  
  
"Don't you get it? You can't. It's my problem. It's my life," sighed Buffy.  
  
Silence gripped the table again. Willow not only couldn't look at Buffy, she had to close her eyes. The front door chimed and closed. Tara stood there, waiting for Willow to notice her. Dawn saw her and smiled. Tara almost smiled back, then winked at her and nervously grinned, looking down.  
  
"Tara," said Willow, her voice teeming with what could only be described as wonder.  
  
Tara simply stood there, as if waiting to be invited in. Willow walked over to her, her eyes never leaving Tara's own. She stopped about an arm's length away.  
  
"Hey," smiled Willow, crossing her hands in front of herself.  
  
"Hey," nodded Tara, suppressing a smile but her face lighting up in spite of that.  
  
"You look great," said Willow, shaking her head and chewing on her lower lip. Tara laughed.  
  
"You are the worst liar the world has ever known," smiled Tara.  
  
"Let's, um, go in back. Okay?" asked Willow. Tara eagerly nodded. Willow held out her hand and Tara glanced down at it and then up at Willow. She slipped her hand into Willow's and sealed it with a tight squeeze. Willow closed her eyes for a moment and then smiled and turned, leading Tara past the table.  
  
Tara raised her hand no higher than her waist and wiggled her fingers in greeting towards Buffy. Buffy nodded her approval and motioned with her eyes, showing Tara that her fingers were crossed. Willow caught Xander's eye and they both smiled. The girls disappeared into Buffy's workout room. Xander was still smiling when he looked at Anya.  
  
"Should I save you the trouble and just punch myself?" asked Xander.  
  
"Is that all you think about?" asked Anya, rolling her eyes. Buffy simply shook her head, realizing that, kidding aside, she might actually fear Anya.  
  
"I hope they resolve this magic issue," sighed Buffy.  
  
"A big affirmative to that," agreed Xander. "I hope Willow learned something from all this. Still, maybe just to make a point, Tara should hold it against her, rub her nose in it."  
  
Buffy looked at Xander, hesitated...then punched him in the arm.  
  
"Ow! Now what was that for?" asked Xander innocently, rubbing his arm.  
  
Willow pulled Tara into the room and shut the door behind them. Instead of letting go of her hand, Willow reached for the other and held both, taking a deep breath.  
  
"I've heard that you've given up magic," said Tara, the sadness in her voice outweighing any hope.  
  
"Yes. I swear to you, I'm done," nodded Willow, squeezing Tara's hands but not getting a response.  
  
"You've promised that before," sighed Tara.  
  
"I know. And I'm so sorry. But Tara, you have to give me...us...another chance."  
  
Tara didn't say anything but she smiled. And she let go of Willow's hands.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Whew. I can't begin to describe it," winced Willow.  
  
"I know," nodded Tara.  
  
"No, I don't think you do. Between the physical pain of withdrawal from magic and the physical pain of being apart from my girl...not to mention how ashamed I am at some of the stuff I did..." grimaced Willow, lowering her head.  
  
"Willow, you're not listening. I know."  
  
Willow raised her head, puzzled.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I didn't make the connection at first. Not until...later. I'm having the dreams again. They started about the same time that you did that spell on me. With my mind?" reminded Tara.  
  
"I know the spell," replied Willow, annoyed. "But Tara, you never told me about any dreams. What do you mean by again?"  
  
"No, I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to worry," frowned Tara, embarrassed. "But I'm beginning to remember."  
  
"Remember? Remember what?"  
  
"Where I was. What happened to me," whispered Tara, not looking into Willow's eyes, waiting for her to understand, to make the connection.  
  
"You mean, what Glory did to you?" asked Willow anxiously.  
  
Tara nodded but didn't look up.  
  
"How...how is that my fault? Why are you blaming me?" asked Willow, her voice rising.  
  
"You think you know, that you have to give up magic. You don't. Not if your intent is pure, if you use it to help others and not for selfish reasons. But what you were doing...Willow, you're not only hurting yourself, you're hurting others," finished Tara sadly, crossing her arms. "You're hurting me."  
  
"I didn't know. Yeah, I get it now. Believe me...just look at Dawn. That's my fault. Just look at us and, and you. Tara, I'm so sorry. Please, you have to forgive me," said Willow trying not to cry. Tara couldn't bear to see her upset and reached out, pulling Willow in with a hug.  
  
"I do. I do," comforted Tara. Willow held on, grateful for her touch.  
  
"Oh Tara, you don't know how much I've missed holding you. And it's all my fault," cried Willow, holding her even tighter.  
  
"Willow, I'm so afraid of what might happen. You promised you'd always find me...but what if..."  
  
"Shh. I promise you, no more magic," sniffed Willow. "And you don't think I'm afraid?"  
  
"Of losing me? Never," laughed Tara, pulling back. But she saw that Willow didn't mean that. "Willow?"  
  
Willow stepped back and wiped her eyes.  
  
"You've never known me without magic. Never knew the real me. What if, what if...maybe I won't be who you need me to be," whispered Willow, ashamed to say the words. "And I'd lose you even without magic."  
  
"Yes, it always was about the magic," sighed Tara. Willow's eyes opened in fear.  
  
"You dummy. It's not the conjured magic. It's the magic that's us," smiled Tara. Willow closed her eyes and lowered her head, freely crying even though she was happy.  
  
"I know the real Willow. She thinks of others, putting their needs ahead of even her own. I miss that girl."  
  
"And she misses you," said Willow, reaching out, running the back of her hand along Tara's arm. "Tara, you're all settled and, and stuff, but could...could you spend the night with me? I left the room exactly as it was. Just like before."   
  
Tara stepped forth and embraced her girlfriend.  
  
"Of course I will. I'll take care of you, just like you did for me," promised Tara, inhaling the scent of Willow's hair.  
  
"Good magic, bad magic, I don't care. Never again. Never," said Willow, pressing her face into the hollow of Tara's shoulder.   
  
"Not even to help Faith?" whispered Tara. Willow slowly pulled away. She reached up and placed her palm on Tara's cheek. Tara leaned into her touch, closing her eyes.  
  
"No. Not even if there's the slightest chance it would hurt you. There has to be another way."  
  
"She's changed, you know. I can sense it. Her aura...Faith's very scared right now, no matter how brave she acts. But I feel no anger in her. Willow, she needs our help," sighed Tara.  
  
"She does. And you know, I think she has changed. But maybe she's only closer to the girl she always was. What happened to her...she lost herself, like I did in the magic. Being out there like that, you can feel the edge. It sets you free...you think it's real, but it's all a lie. It's not who you are. It's not..."  
  
"Willow."  
  
"And when you come down, it makes you doubt even more who you are without it," sighed Willow, shaking her head.  
  
"I have no doubts," said Tara, gently raising Willow's chin up with her hand. Willow painfully smiled and brushed her cheek against Tara's fingers, kissing her wrist. She looked up, eyes suddenly open.   
  
"Amy! I'll ask Amy to attempt this!" said Willow excitedly.  
  
"You think she can?"  
  
"Yes. I know she can. And how can she refuse? If it wasn't for me..."  
  
Willow stopped, seeing the look of disappointment on Tara's face.  
  
"I'll ask her," said Willow softly. "No conditions. She'll agree or refuse on her own."  
  
"That's my girl," smiled Tara. And then Willow began to cry. "Willow, what..."  
  
"Am I? Still your girl?" asked Willow, looking desperately into Tara's eyes through her tears.  
  
Tara grinned mischievously and grabbed Willow by the shoulders, pushing her back hard against the wall. Instantly her mouth was on Willow's, rough and demanding, her tongue slipping past Willow's lips. Tara's hands moved up against either side of her head, holding her still while her lips pressed on, driven by a hunger of their own. Breaking free with a low moan, Tara rested her nose on Willow's nose. And smiled.  
  
"Wow," gasped Willow, glassy eyed and catching her breath. "I thought all that weak-kneed swooning I read about was just...oh my."  
  
"That answer your question?" teased Tara.  
  
"Oh my," sighed Willow, holding herself up by grabbing onto Tara's arms.  
  
"I'm not big into public displays, but I am butch enough to fight for you," stated Tara firmly.  
  
"Screw magic...you're the weakness in me," breathed Willow.  
  
Willow closed her eyes, smiling blissfully. And then she tackled Tara, luckily landing them on a padded mat on the floor with an oomph! It was her turn to aggressively seek out her lover's mouth.  
  
"God, I missed you!" shouted Willow out of the side of her mouth, moving down to playfully nip at Tara's neck with her teeth.  
  
"Shh. They'll hear you," giggled Tara in a whispered protest.   
  
"Good. I'm no longer shy about public displays," laughed Willow. "Now shut up and kiss me!"  
  
A few minutes later Willow came out of the training room, pushing her hair back into place. Tara was trying to hide behind her as she tucked in her shirt. They were met by four sets of smiles.  
  
"Hey. I won't have to do the magic. We decided to get Amy to help. You know, make it a threesome," smiled Willow, still somewhat out of breath.  
  
Anya and Buffy looked at Xander but he timidly crossed his arms and refused to talk.  
  
"That's great, Will. I think I'll call Faith and give her the good news. Anya, why don't you help them with whatever they need," said Buffy, getting up from her chair. Xander stifled a laugh.  
  
"I'll go find Amy. Tara can figure out what we need with Anya. Oh, honey? There's a list on the table over there," pointed Willow. Tara nodded meekly and walked over to the table, winking at Dawn and causing her to giggle.  
  
"Will, why not just call her?" asked Buffy, standing next to her.  
  
"Because if Amy is where I think she is, there's no way to reach her by phone," said Willow ominously.   
  
"Oh."  
  
Willow pushed out her lips and nodded sadly, knowing Buffy understood. She pulled Buffy aside and lowered her voice.  
  
"Buffy, while I'm gone, can you tell the others not to mention to Tara that Faith was in my bed last night. Not that anything happened!" whispered Willow emphatically.  
  
"You're not going to lie to her?"  
  
"No, of course not! She's spending the night and I'll tell her then...when I can disarm any complaints with, well, you get the idea," smiled Willow.  
  
"Okay," laughed Buffy loudly, getting a disconcerting look from her friend. "Come on, Will. It is kinda funny."  
  
"I guess," admitted Willow. "Oh, and while we're on the funny..."  
  
"Yes?" asked Buffy suspiciously. Willow glanced over her shoulder at the others.  
  
"Faith talks in her sleep."  
  
"And?" prodded Buffy.  
  
"She called out your name. Actually, it was several times. No, wait! She didn't call out your name. It was more of a moan," grinned Willow.  
  
Buffy's eyes popped open but otherwise didn't move.  
  
"Of course, I have no idea what..."  
  
"You're lying!" accused Buffy, her eyes still open wide. Willow made a cross over her heart with a finger.  
  
"That's an evil grin you're sporting there, Willow Rosenberg," glared Buffy.  
  
"And wouldn't your sister love to tease you about this?" added Willow, innocently blinking her eyes.  
  
"This is blackmail!" yelped Buffy.  
  
"Chocolate will suffice and then my lips are sealed," replied Willow, running a finger across her mouth.  
  
"You're evil."  
  
"So I've heard," nodded Willow.  
  
"Will, if Amy won't help you..."  
  
"Buffy, I can't. I mean, Tara explained how if I only use magicks to help someone, if my intent is from the heart, I should be fine. But I'm too scared to find out if she's wrong."  
  
Buffy nodded and put a hand on Willow's arm.   
  
"Be careful," said Buffy. She kept her eyes on Willow for a moment to stress her warning and walked over to the phone. Dialing her number, she waited until the seventh ring before reluctantly hanging up the phone. The others noticed her just standing there, lost in thought.  
  
"Buffy? What's wrong?" asked Dawn.  
  
"Oh. Nothing. I hope," replied Buffy, shaking her head. "Faith didn't pick up."  
  
"Maybe she couldn't find the phone," suggested Anya.  
  
"And maybe she walked into a wall and knocked herself out trying to get to the phone," said Xander.  
  
"Exactly!" agreed Anya. "Oh, you weren't...never mind."  
  
"Guys, I'll be right back," announced Buffy.   
  
*****  
  
"Faith?"  
  
Buffy scrunched up her face, wondering where Faith could be. She took a few steps up the staircase even though she didn't hear anyone upstairs.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
Just then a breeze blew, sounding the wind chime on the back porch. It sounded a little louder than it should have. Curious, Buffy retreated down the stairs and noticed that the back door was open. She made her way to the door and saw Faith sitting on the steps, her backpack slung over one shoulder. Buffy watched her for a moment but Faith was still, lifeless like a statue. Yet she knew Faith was aware that she was here. Buffy hesitated, stalling, then sat down next to her, shaking her head. Faith looked out into the backyard, seeing something that only she could see.  
  
"Running away again?" sighed Buffy.  
  
"You mean like Giles did? He should be here, Buffy. He should be here."  
  
"Well, he uh...he thought I needed to be on my own. That I had to learn to depend on myself and, and not lean so much on him," shrugged Buffy. "Isn't that what growing up is all about? Being independent?"  
  
"Giles can suck on my left one. He should be here and you know it. He's your Watcher, damn it!" snapped Faith.  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows, disturbed at the visual Faith suggested. Still, she suppressed a laugh.  
  
"Didn't say I agreed with his decision. And you didn't answer my question. You running away?"  
  
"Thought about it. But to where? I have nowhere to go and no one to take care of me when I get there," replied Faith bitterly.  
  
"You can stay here," said Buffy flatly.  
  
Faith just shook her head.  
  
"Of course, once you get your sight back, you'd be free to decide for yourself. But...you can stay here," repeated Buffy, this time with a more friendly tone. But just barely. Faith snapped her head towards the sound of Buffy's voice.  
  
"Willow. She can help me? She can..."  
  
"No. No, Willow's afraid to try. Even after Tara gave her blessing. She's going to ask Amy to help her," said Buffy.  
  
"When?"  
  
"Hopefully tonight. Willow's tracking her down as we speak," smiled Buffy.  
  
Faith turned away from her and Buffy didn't say anything, giving her a moment.  
  
"Thank you," whispered Faith, not turning around.  
  
"Oh, I think you'll owe the girls more than a simple thank you. Maybe some scented candles. Chocolate works too," encouraged Buffy, though she still didn't get Faith to laugh.  
  
Buffy took a deep breath, looked down for a moment and then slowly reached out until her hand rested on Faith's shoulder. Surprisingly, Faith didn't jump. She rubbed her eyes under her sunglasses and then slowly turned to face Buffy.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" said Buffy softly.  
  
"Sure, B. Ask away."  
  
"I need you to be honest with me. One Slayer to another."  
  
Faith sat up a little straighter and nodded slightly. Buffy withdrew her hand.  
  
"You and I, we're alike. Said so yourself. No one else can understand what it's like. What it...what it feels like," said Buffy, choking on that word. "The rush you get from a kill...the anticipation that drives you like a hunger when you hunt."  
  
"Buffy..."  
  
"No. Let me finish. Let me try to explain. See, I'm not...feeling that anymore. Hell, I don't even get hungry afterwards! I'm not...Faith, what drove you to him? Why the Mayor?"  
  
Surprised, Faith turned her head, staring back out into the backyard.  
  
"Back in the mansion, with Angel, you, you talked about being jealous. Was that it? Was it...was it me?" winced Buffy. "Because I tried. I, I just didn't try hard enough."  
  
"B...you wouldn't believe me even if I could explain it," whispered Faith, biting her lower lip.  
  
"Faith, please. I need this," begged Buffy.  
  
"Okay. Okay, maybe I do too," nodded Faith. But she wouldn't face Buffy.  
  
Buffy reached over and held Faith's hand. Faith, as if she could see, looked down and smiled.  
  
"It wasn't you, B. Jealousy? Oh, there was little mixed in there, I'm sure. But not the way you think. I wanted what you had. But I wasn't jealous. That doesn't make sense, does it?" laughed Faith. Faith gave Buffy's hand a squeeze and then, reluctantly, slipped her hand free.  
  
"You and me, B, we're special. No one else like us. No one. And yet...I was numb. See, if I was so damn special, why was I so alone? Always. No one ever respected what I could do. No one...ever loved me," gulped Faith, spitting the words out, shocked that she was actually telling Buffy this.  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"Don't you get it? Do I have to say it? I tried to do the right thing. I tried to, to be good. It didn't matter. Anyone I got close to...all I ever did was cause pain or suffering or..or I got them killed," said Faith, pausing to take a deep breath. She lowered her voice to a whisper, her voice breaking. "There must be something so wrong with me, so evil..."  
  
"No! Faith, that's not true!"  
  
"Buffy! You wanted to hear this, right?" yelled Faith, focusing on Buffy's voice, staring at her from behind those glasses like she could see.  
  
"Yeah," whispered Buffy.  
  
"The Slaying, the killing...you know why I got off on it? Because it made me feel something. And if you can't feel than you're not alive."  
  
Buffy stiffened, recoiling as if slapped, but Faith couldn't see this.  
  
"I know it was wrong. But I didn't care! I was numb. I needed to feel...anything! I craved it, like a drug. And the Mayor...it was sick and, and twisted...but he let me in. In his own way, he loved me. Made me feel that I was alive," spat Faith, disgusted with herself.  
  
"I tried to let you in," said Buffy, unable to conceal the sudden tears in her voice.  
  
"You didn't even tell me about Angel," sighed Faith, shaking her head.  
  
"That was different! I didn't tell anyone about him! I was scared and confused," protested Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I don't think it would've mattered. I never let anyone get close. Not even him. Not really. Even then I held back. Oh, my Watcher gave it a go. Maybe if she had more time...but look what happened."  
  
"Faith...there had to be someone. Please tell me that there was."  
  
"Yes! There was!" yelled Faith, making Buffy jump.   
  
"There was," repeated Faith, softer. She took a deep breath.  
  
"Buffy, the only person I ever loved and loved me back was Dawn. Unconditional, wanting nothing in return...and she died because of me. Now you tell me that she wasn't even real. So what does that leave me with? It means that I'm more alone now than ever," said Faith, her words empty, void of emotion, yet screaming how she felt. And she felt nothing.  
  
Buffy stared at her, her mouth open.  
  
"All this time...the answer was there, right in front of me. But I couldn't understand. Until now. Faith, I know what you're going through. You can't see me but you know what I'm dealing with. The others are blind, not you."  
  
Faith's mouth opened but she didn't speak. She couldn't.  
  
"And I've done things, things...that I'm so ashamed of. But it gave me...hope. Let me know that I'm alive. So you see? We are alike," nodded Buffy. "We are so alike."   
  
"Tried to tell ya that, B, a long time ago" smiled Faith.  
  
"Yeah. I guess you did. And I tried to tell you that I loved you. But I couldn't say the words. Just like I couldn't say them to Riley. That's why he left. So I pushed you both away," winced Buffy.  
  
"No. Like I said, I didn't let you in, even though I know you tried. You're the only one who really tried. I'm flawed, B. I think the wrong girl was called, ya know?" said Faith, laughing with no joy. "I'm a mistake."  
  
"I don't believe that and either do you. Back in LA, on the rooftop, you tried to tell me. About the pain and nothing making sense. Maybe it comes with the job. This is what it does to us," said Buffy. She hesitated but decided to push on.   
  
"At least you never gave up."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You tried. You turned yourself in, went to prison, accepted the rules of the game...you wanted to make things right. I gave up. I...gave up," repeated Buffy, whispering her last words.  
  
"Buffy, what are you talking about?" asked Faith, now reaching out and finding her hand. Buffy let her hold it but didn't respond in turn.  
  
"My mom was dead, Riley had left, Glory had taken Dawn...it never ended. No matter how hard I fought, how many demons I killed...and my reward? Kill my sister or let the world be consumed by hell. With choices like that..."  
  
Buffy yanked free from Faith's hand.  
  
"Do you know how relieved I was when I knew that I could die in Dawn's place? That I could finally be done with it all? Oh sure, Buffy died a noble death, fighting the good fight, saving the world. Guess no one ever considered that I wanted to die. That I killed myself because nothing made any sense, that I wanted the pain to just stop!"  
  
"Buffy..."  
  
"Yep, the pain stopped. Until now. So...is this my reward...or my punishment?" laughed Buffy, though her voice held only agony.  
  
"Buffy," whispered Faith. Buffy wiped her eyes and faced Faith. And was surprised to see the younger Slayer smiling.  
  
"I know how I can help you."  
  
"Huh? What do you..."  
  
"I believe I'm going to get a second chance. To feel again. To love. I honestly do. And hell, if I can believe that...trust me, you'll come around. Trust me. I feel it. Because we're alike," grinned Faith.  
  
Buffy couldn't help but smile in return.  
  
"You get that out of some fortune cookie?" laughed Buffy.  
  
"Sure I did. And Buffy? Willow didn't know. She thought you were in hell. What she did...Willow wanted the pain to stop. Don't you see? Maybe it was selfish, but all she wanted was to feel something other than pain. She was numb...and wanted to feel alive again."  
  
Buffy looked away, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"I hadn't thought about it quite like that," said Buffy.  
  
"B, you might not understand this, but a friend like that...I think, I think she needs to hear that you forgive her. That is, I mean...even if you're not sure. Your friend needs to hear that. From you, and no one else."  
  
Buffy sat up a little straighter, looking at Faith. Faith bit her lower lip and slowly looked away from her. And Buffy knew Faith was no longer talking about Willow.  
  
"Hey, here you are! I was looking all over for you," said Dawn, suddenly standing behind them. "What's up?"  
  
Buffy stared at Faith, watching as she lowered her head ever so slightly.  
  
"We, uh...we were just deciding on what to get to eat later. Pizza sound good?" asked Buffy, forcing a smile for Dawn.  
  
"Oh yeah," agreed Dawn. "Wanna invite Xander and Anya over?"  
  
"Sounds good," nodded Buffy. "Why don't you go call them?"  
  
"Okay," agreed Dawn, skipping off.  
  
Faith didn't raise her head. The two Slayers sat there in silence.  
  
*****  
  
Willow turned, paused...and let out a sigh, realizing that she had already been down this alley. She looked up, knowing it would be dark soon, the suddenly overcast sky threatening rain, rushing the night towards her. Leaning back against the damp wall behind her, she ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes, beginning to feel just how tired she was.  
  
"Why the hell do I feel like a cigarette? I don't even smoke!" said Willow, exasperated.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
Willow's eyes snapped open and she turned in the direction of the voice. But no one was there.  
  
"Amy? Is that you?" called Willow.  
  
The top of a dumpster across from her slowly rose, pushed up by an arm.  
  
"Amy!" yelped Willow, running over to help her out. "What the hell are you doing in there?"  
  
"It's not as bad as it looks. Well, okay, maybe it is. But it's empty. I, I heard someone coming and I hid. I didn't know it was you," said Amy, jumping down to land next to Willow. Unsteady, Willow held her up but only with one hand. Amy's face was dirty and Willow could tell that she had slept in her clothes. Her somewhat rank clothes.  
  
"I was looking for you," said Willow.  
  
"Why didn't you just use a locator spell, silly?" laughed Amy.  
  
"I couldn't. I mean, I could but I can't so I won't," frowned Willow.  
  
"Anyone ever tell you that you still talk like you did in high school? Oh, that's not bad. In fact, I find it oddly comforting. Too much new stuff to get used to, ya know?" asked Amy.  
  
"Yeah. New stuff. I get that," nodded Willow.  
  
"So...what did you say? Translated this time."  
  
"Amy, I'm giving up magic. It's just too dangerous for me. And for Tara. Magic doesn't keep you warm at night," sighed Willow, smiling.  
  
"Oh. Okay."  
  
"That's it? You're okay with that? 'Cause we had bunches of fun and stuff and, and this has nothing to do with you," added Willow.  
  
"I'm fine. It's your choice. I might not agree with it, but...I'm cool. Oh, and I'm really glad you didn't give up practicing before you deratted me," smiled Amy.  
  
"Me too," smiled Willow happily.  
  
"So, why were you looking for me?"  
  
"Oh. Well, I was worried about you, of course. And I still want to be friends, you know? But...I need to ask a favor," said Willow tentatively.  
  
"Sure. Ask away," said Amy, looking down and brushing off her pants as if just noticing how filthy they were. Still, it didn't seem to bother her.  
  
"I have a...a friend," said Willow confidently. "Someone worked some bad mojo on her and she's blind. I know the counterspell but...I really don't want to try it, what with the giving up magic and all."  
  
"Oh. So, you want me to do it," nodded Amy.  
  
"Yes. If you don't mind."  
  
"No problem. But I need you to do me a favor in return," added Amy.  
  
"Hey, I'd be glad to. Oh Amy, this is great. Really. Oh, what's the favor?" asked Willow, suddenly suspicious.  
  
"You have to take me to Rack."  
  
"W-what? But I, I gave up magic," protested Willow nervously.  
  
"Willow, he's bored with me. But you're his favorite now. For that alone you owe me," glared Amy.  
  
"Yeah, maybe I do," winced Willow.  
  
"I know where he is tonight. Everything has a price, Willow. So if you want to help your friend, you have to help me too. Is that too much to ask?" said Amy, a little desperation creeping in to her voice.  
  
"Amy, maybe I can help you more if you take a break from magic," offered Willow. "Just for a little while."  
  
"It's my choice, Willow. I'm not judging you. Don't judge me," snapped Amy.  
  
"No. No, I wouldn't."  
  
"You only have to take me to him. He'll listen to you," begged Amy.  
  
Willow wrapped her arms around herself, fighting off a sudden chill.  
  
END OF PART FOUR 


	5. Part Five

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART FIVE  
  
"Buffy, you going to get that?" yelled Dawn, looking up from her magazine. Then she heard the water running and knew that Buffy was in the shower. With a sigh she got up to answer the door.  
  
"Oh. Hi, Amy."  
  
"Hi. Um, is Willow here?" asked Amy, trying to look past Dawn.  
  
"No. In fact she's out looking for you," replied Dawn.  
  
"Oh, she found me. I just thought she'd be back by now."  
  
"So you're going to help? You're going to do the spell?" asked Dawn excitedly.  
  
"Maybe. That's up to Willow to decide," shrugged Amy.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Maybe I should just leave her a note," suggested Amy.  
  
"Sure. Come on in," said Dawn. "There's some paper on the kitchen counter."  
  
Amy walked into the kitchen and found the notepad but had trouble finding a pencil.  
  
"Oh, there's probably something to write with in that drawer," pointed Dawn.  
  
"That's okay. It's more fun this way," smiled Amy. She closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled again and waved her hand over the paper, tossing it back onto the kitchen counter.  
  
"Neat!" smiled Dawn.  
  
"It is, isn't it? You should ask Willow to teach you. Who knows? Maybe you can be like her. Thanks," nodded Amy, turning to go.  
  
"Um, you sure you don't want to stay and wait for her?" asked Dawn.  
  
"No. I've said what I wanted to say. I'll be at the Bronze if Willow wants to find me," shrugged Amy as if she didn't care. Without saying goodbye, she turned and left.  
  
"Bye," frowned Dawn, picking up the notepad to read it.  
  
"Willow - I'll be at the Bronze. The party starts at ten o'clock. We both have a gift that very few people possess. Why deny what is yours? It's what you are. Amy"  
  
Dawn dropped the note back onto the counter, wiping her hand on her pants without even realizing it. She suddenly didn't like the idea of being like Willow. Shaking her hair, she began to pull it back over her shoulder but paused as she touched her right ear, noticing that her earring was missing. Dawn felt her other ear to see if she had forgotten to put them on but her left ear had the earring.  
  
"Oh, great! I knew I should've snuck them back before Anya noticed they were missing!"  
  
Dawn knelt down, scanning the floor but didn't see the missing earring. She heard Buffy coming down the stairs and quickly stood up.  
  
"Hey," smiled Dawn.  
  
"Hey yourself. Watcha doin'?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Nothing," shrugged Dawn. "Just like yesterday, just like tomorrow. Can I come with you on patrol tonight? Just for a while? Please?"  
  
"No. I don't care how bored you get. It's too dangerous," scolded Buffy.  
  
"It's not like any vampire would notice me," complained Dawn. "I'm sure I'd blend right in with the background. I mean, who's going to notice me with big sister and her super powers around?"  
  
"You want to get noticed? Go steal a car."  
  
"Okay," smiled Dawn excitedly.  
  
"I'm joking! And where's Willow? She missed pizza. Xander and Anya already went home," said Buffy.  
  
"Oh, Amy stopped by, left Willow a note. Said she'd be at the Bronze. Want me to call Tara? Xander dropped her off to pick up a few things. She's spending the night," added Dawn happily.  
  
"Who doesn't? I should start renting out rooms. No, don't call. I'm sure Tara and Willow will show up soon. I'm going to make a quick pass by the cemetery but I'll be back early. That way I can be back in time if they want to start Faith's counterspell. Not that they need me for anything," shrugged Buffy. "Still, I want to be here."  
  
"Okay. I'll be in my room. I, uh, I have to look for something," said Dawn, running for the stairs.  
  
Buffy took a step and noticed a small pizza crust on the kitchen floor.  
  
"We need a maid," sighed Buffy, leaning down to pick it up. Her cross swung outwards from her neck and she caught it with her left hand. She stared at it and absently walked over to the sink, dropping the crust in. Hesitating, she rubbed the cross between two fingers and then let go of it. Bringing her hands up behind her neck, she paused but then undid the clasp, placing the silver cross on the windowsill above the sink.   
  
There was a knock at the door. Buffy took a step towards the door but stopped, turning to grab the cross and hide it in a drawer.  
  
"Tara!" exclaimed Buffy, opening the front door. "I didn't think it was you, what with the knocking and, well, just the knocking I guess."  
  
"Oh. It's just...I mean, it's not my house. I don't live here," frowned Tara uncomfortably.  
  
"I wish you would," smiled Buffy, nodding.  
  
Tara smiled from ear to ear, touched by her words.  
  
"So, are you a vampire? Do I have to invite you in?" hinted Buffy.  
  
"Thanks," answered Tara, still smiling. She slipped a backpack off her shoulder and into her hand. "Is Willow back yet?"  
  
"No. I was hoping she was with you. Amy stopped by and left a note for her, though. It's in the kitchen."  
  
Buffy led her into the kitchen but turned when she realized that Tara wasn't following her. She was just standing there, staring at something behind Buffy. Buffy looked over her shoulder but didn't notice anything out of place.  
  
"Tara? What's wrong?"  
  
Tara looked like she was going to throw up.  
  
"Tara?"  
  
"I, I left a magic marker here," gulped Tara, closing her eyes, her breath short and shallow.  
  
"Um, hey. That's no problem. I'm sure we have a few lying around. What color do you need?" asked Buffy, still not sure what was wrong.  
  
"No, not a magic marker. A marker of magic. That plant," pointed Tara at a withered cactus near the sink. Buffy turned to look.  
  
"Yeah. Little too late to water that one," smirked Buffy, though she was beginning to understand.   
  
"If someone cast a spell in your house, well...," shrugged Tara. "Don't you see? She lied to me. Again."  
  
Buffy's shoulders slumped and she looked at Tara; the pain she saw mirrored the way felt.  
  
"Tara..."  
  
"I, I have to..."  
  
Tears in her eyes, Tara ran from the room.  
  
"Tara, wait!"  
  
The front door slammed shut and Buffy threw her hands up in the air with a sigh. She walked back to the sink, staring at the dead cactus with a menacing glare. Her eyes drifted to the note and she read it, twice, shaking her head.  
  
"Yeah, you got a gift alright, girl," sighed Buffy. "And she just left."  
  
Buffy ran a hand over her face and walked over to the back door, staring out into the dark, not even noticing that it had begun to drizzle. The front door opened and Buffy saw Willow's reflection on the glass. She quickly strode over to stand in front of her, crossing her arms and blocking Willow from going upstairs.  
  
"Where have you been?" demanded Buffy.  
  
"Out," replied Willow absently, her hands in her pockets. She didn't seem to notice that Buffy was looking at her. "Walking. Thinking."  
  
Buffy didn't answer and soon Willow looked up, confused.  
  
"What's with the huffing and the puffing?" sighed Willow, not really interested.  
  
"You really blew it this time, Will. Why? I just don't get it!"  
  
"Um...huh?"  
  
"You did a spell after you told Tara you wouldn't. And she knows. Will, she found out," winced Buffy.  
  
"I did not!" replied Willow indignantly.  
  
"But...the plant. It died," said Buffy, pointing to the cactus.  
  
"Again I have to go with the huh? Buffy, what..."  
  
"Tara told me that she left a magic marker here. I mean a marker of..."  
  
"I know what one is, Buffy. But I swear to you, I didn't do a spell," insisted Willow. "My promise was to her and to you."  
  
"Amy! Amy was here. She, she left you a note. She must've done a spell," said Buffy, running into the kitchen to show Willow the note. Willow read it and slowly shook her head.  
  
"Amy won't help me unless I bring her back to Rack. And I won't do that. She must've written this with a spell. Hence the deadness," shrugged Willow, nodding at the cactus.  
  
"She didn't trust me," said Willow, closing her eyes.  
  
"Willow..."  
  
"Don't Willow me! She's right. She shouldn't trust me. I mean, I haven't given her a reason to, have I?"  
  
"Only because Tara thinks you did the spell. And you didn't. And...and you seem awfully calm about that," commented Buffy.  
  
"Sorry. My despair is kinda overwhelming my panic at the moment. I'm trying to remain calm without the required screaming, pulling out my hair and gnashing of teeth," sighed Willow.  
  
"Call her. Leave a message. If she doesn't answer go over to her place. I'll swing by the Bronze on my way out, see if she's there. Tara didn't leave too long ago. Maybe I can catch her."  
  
Buffy took three steps towards the door then stopped.  
  
"Will, you going to be alright?"  
  
"Guess we'll find out soon enough. Go. I need to bring Faith up to speed before I head out," frowned Willow.  
  
"Good luck."  
  
*****  
  
Willow stood there for a moment, then knocked, even though the door was open.  
  
"Come on in, Willow," called Faith. She was sitting on the edge of her bed.  
  
"How did you know it was me?"  
  
"I just did," smiled Faith. "Okay, I recognized the shampoo you use in your hair. I like it."  
  
"Oh," said Willow, impressed, as she sat down on the bed next to her.  
  
"Are you bringing me good news?" asked Faith.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Oh. So it's not so good news? Or...so not good news?" frowned Faith.  
  
"Amy won't help me. Well, she will, but for a price I'm not willing to pay. And Tara tells me that I can do the spell, that magic done with a pure intent, for instance to heal someone...well, it shouldn't affect me," sighed Willow. "Or, more importantly, her."  
  
"Shouldn't," nodded Faith. "But you're, what? Afraid to try?"  
  
"I don't know. If Tara's wrong, I could be hurting her. Hurting us," added Willow.  
  
"Oh," whispered Faith, that one word heavy in the air between them, a pronouncement. It was Faith admitting that she had given up hope.  
  
"Faith," began Willow.  
  
"Willow," said Faith at the same time.  
  
Faith laughed.   
  
"Me first, okay?" said Faith. "What is Tara afraid of?"  
  
"Me," sighed Willow.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You know what happened to her, with Glory," said Willow, rubbing her hands together.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I did a spell. We had some stupid fight and I messed with her memory. I, I just wanted her not to be mad at me," winced Willow.  
  
"But she found out," nodded Faith.  
  
"Yeah. So besides me giving her no reason to trust me...my spells are affecting her. Making her remember...stuff. Too much messing with the mind, it's not good," grimaced Willow, shaking a hand in the air.  
  
"I hear ya," said Faith, reaching out a hand. Willow took it. "You don't owe me, Willow. I can't ask you to..."  
  
"Let me sleep on it. If I can get any sleep. I have to go find Tara. She thinks I did another spell after I promised that I wouldn't," said Willow, standing up.  
  
"Did you?"  
  
"No!" answered Willow sharply.  
  
Faith looked away, sorry she had asked.   
  
"No," repeated Willow, softly. She stood there, watching Faith.  
  
"What?" asked Faith.  
  
"Faith, there's one more thing. Buffy, she...she's really messed up right now. We just have to give her some time. What I'm trying to say is that right now, she might not be able to say what you need to hear. Not yet."  
  
"You should know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't see. I pick up on things. Things other people might miss...might choose to overlook."  
  
Willow didn't answer her.  
  
"Why haven't you two sat down and talked about what happened to her? She's your best friend, right? And don't try to tell me that Xander is," protested Faith.  
  
"Faith, when she's ready..."  
  
"What if she's never ready? You have to talk now, while you have the chance. Before it comes between you. It won't get any easier," promised Faith.  
  
Willow looked at her and knew. She knew what Faith meant.   
  
"About B and me...already figured that one out," smiled Faith. "All the time in the world won't help. I can't forgive myself, so why should she...well, you know."  
  
"You're being a little hard on yourself, aren't you?"  
  
"I held a knife to your throat, Red. You telling me you forgot that?" asked Faith quickly, though her voice held no anger, no threat.  
  
"No. It just seems like a lifetime ago," admitted Willow.  
  
"It was," sighed Faith.  
  
*****  
  
"Glad I didn't wash my hair," scowled Buffy, looking up at the heavy mist. It wasn't a soaking rain but it was enough to frazzle her hair and muffle her footsteps as she walked through the silent graveyard.  
  
"Might as well call it a night. What self-respecting vampire doesn't know enough to get out of the rain?" said Buffy, her breath puffing up white before her in the cold air.  
  
A growl behind her stopped Buffy in mid-stride, her shoulders sagging.  
  
"I knew it! Never use respect and vampire in the same sentence," sighed Buffy as she turned around. "Didn't your mama ever tell you..."  
  
Buffy was silenced with a hard punch to her jaw. Her head snapped back but she didn't even flinch.  
  
"Now that's just rude. I didn't even get a chance to finish punning, lame as it was."  
  
The vampire, a young male even shorter than herself, swung again, angered that his first blow had been so easily ignored. The Slayer caught his fist in her hand, held it firmly and began to squeeze...and began to smile. A heartbeat or two later and the vampire screamed just before his knuckles collapsed with a loud crack. Buffy squeezed tighter, her smile easing into a snarl. The vampire punched her in the face with his free hand. She only stared back, eyes narrowed in hatred.  
  
He punched her again. And again. Buffy squeezed harder, blood oozing between her fingers. His blood. He kneed her in the stomach and she lashed out with the back of her hand across his jaw. Driving him down on one knee, the creature screamed again. Desperation driven by excruciating pain made him bite at her forearm. Buffy let go and pulled her arm back but not before his fangs tore a gash just above her wrist.  
  
The vampire rose to his feet but wasn't quick enough. Buffy's swirled with a spin kick, her foot connecting and sending him down against a tombstone, knocking it over and cracking it in several places. She dove, pinning his arms down with her knees and grabbed a piece of the shattered stone, smashing it into his face. The vampire lay still, unconscious.  
  
Buffy didn't care.  
  
She drove the stone down again, harder this time. Again, blood splattering against her face and blouse. Again, his skull being crushed into a messy pulp. Again, this time using both hands, the impact sounding like wet mud.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Again, tears forming in her eyes, not understanding why she wasn't disgusted by what was happening, why she wasn't overcome by a need to vomit, why she wasn't engulfed in hatred for this thing beneath her...why she wasn't feeling anything at all.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Buffy didn't hear her name being shouted. She raised her hands above her head again...and was knocked off her victim, landing hard on her shoulder and neck. She looked up, mud and water and blood dripping from the side of her face, just as the vampire exploded into ash. Spike knelt beside her, wide-eyed and gripping a stake tightly in his hand. He threw it aside in disgust.   
  
"Slayer! What the hell was that about?"  
  
Buffy raised her hands in front of her face, watching as the rain washed the blood away like a watercolor.  
  
"Buffy. What happened?" asked Spike, compassion softening his tone.  
  
Buffy stood, unsteady on her feet, still staring at her hand as she slowly clenched her fingers into a fist. Looking up at her from his knees, Spike begged for an answer but didn't utter a word.  
  
"What am I?" hissed Buffy, her mouth contorted with contempt. Her eyes now focused on Spike as he slowly rose to his feet.   
  
"I know. I'm a Slayer," spat Buffy.  
  
"I was going to go with a frightened young woman."  
  
Buffy smiled and stepped close to him, tilting her head slightly to one side. Spike hesitated, unsure of the invitation. But Buffy didn't. Her mouth met his and she slipped a hand behind his head, pulling him to her. Their kiss deepened, became frantic, Spike's desire fueled by Buffy's moaning. She broke off the embrace, gasping for breath.  
  
"Are you giving in to...this?" asked Spike vaguely.  
  
"No. I'm seeking it out."  
  
She moved swiftly, seemingly even more so as Spike never expected it. The back of her hand was a blur, splitting his lip. Spike reacted, fiercely grabbing her shoulders...but Buffy didn't move. He blinked, tilting his head in wonder. Buffy tenderly reached up and touched his lip with a finger. And now Spike didn't move. She turned her hand over, staring at the smeared blood.  
  
"If I drink from you, will I...will I be turned?" she asked in a whisper.  
  
"Of course not! You have to be close to death," laughed Spike.  
  
"I'm standing kinda close right now," smiled Buffy, batting her eyes at him. She reached for him again, brushing her fingers along his cold cheek. This time he moved closer and their kiss was gentle, lips barely touching, exploring. Spike hesitated, feeling more than rain on his skin. He pulled back, shocked to see tears rolling down her cheeks.  
  
"I'm having sex with a corpse. But you know what's even more disgusting?" swallowed Buffy, not looking up at him, her whisper almost lost in the mist between them. "So are you."  
  
"Buffy, when we make love..."  
  
"We don't make love! We had sex! Love had nothing to do with it!" screamed Buffy, trying weakly to push him away. The rain plastered her hair to the sides of her face. He pushed it away. She let him.  
  
"Why don't you change?"  
  
"What?" replied Spike, lowering his hand.  
  
"Your face! I hit you, punish you, hell I beat you down! When I'm on my back...under you," grimaced Buffy, "why don't you show me what you really are?"  
  
There's no chance of that happening," answered Spike, disappointed that she didn't understand.   
  
Buffy squinted at him, listening to his body language more than his words. He wasn't lying. He took one of her hands into both of his.  
  
"Feel this. I love you. The warmth of your body...it does more to me than you could possibly know. Because you're not dead. Buffy, when I'm with you...it makes my body remember what it was like, being alive...being human. The demon within can't touch me then. It doesn't understand, never having experienced life."  
  
Buffy threw her head back and laughed cruelly. Wincing, Spike let go of her hand.  
  
"Feel this, Spike," said Buffy, holding up her palm. "This rain could be snow and it couldn't feel as cold as I do inside. The cold of your body against mine, the sweat as my skin embraces yours...I feel the dampness of my grave all over again! Your kiss tastes of ash. I lash out, punching, hitting, biting...until I lose myself, and for a little while I can forget, as the cold within me matches your own."  
  
Spike looked away, visibly shaken.  
  
"I hide there, Spike. In that cold. Only the heat of our sex makes me feel again. But it's not real! It doesn't last...we both want to be alive, and we're not," cringed Buffy, shivering.  
  
Spike slowly raised his eyes, unsmiling.  
  
"You want me, Spike?" whispered Buffy. "I'll give you this body. Freely, without hesitation, no holding back. But you have to do something for me."  
  
"Name it," whispered Spike.  
  
Buffy undid the buttons on her blouse and tugged it free from her pants. She eased one shoulder free and pulled her hair back, offering her neck. Spike's eyes opened wide.  
  
"Claim me with your mark. Don't fight what you are. Taste me," pleaded Buffy, stepping to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Spike stared at her throat, aroused by the blood within.   
  
"I can't tell the others...but I want them to know. Mark me as the whore that I am," begged Buffy, her hands trembling. Spike touched her cheek, wiping away a tear.  
  
"Do it," whispered Buffy, her lower lip quivering, her breath hanging white in the air as she waited. "Just...do it."  
  
Spike lowered his hand and placed it just above her left breast. She inhaled sharply and not only from his cold touch. Her heart pounded beneath his touch. Buffy tried not to look at him but couldn't help herself, running her tongue over her lips.  
  
"I've already marked you, Slayer. You can't see it, just like I can't see my reflection in a mirror. But I know I'm there," said Spike, kissing the top of her forehead. Buffy hesitated, then brought her arms up, ripping his shirt open. He placed his hands on her hips and a cry escaped her. She closed her eyes and rubbed her wet cheek against his chest. Spike shook free of his shirt.  
  
Buffy instantly stood on her toes and kissed him, tugging on his lower lip. She was no longer crying. Stepping back, she let her blouse slip off her shoulders onto the ground. Spike moved his thumbs under her bra, his body tense, waiting for her to punch him. But she didn't move. He pushed upwards, exposing her breasts, his rough hands like sandpaper on her sensitive skin. Buffy moved to place her arms on his shoulders and Spike flinched, misreading her intentions, causing her to smile.  
  
She looked down and raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Seems like Willow and I have something in common," said Buffy, her voice raspy.  
  
"Oh? What might that be?" grinned Spike.  
  
"We can both raise the dead."  
  
Spike smiled, running his hands down her sides to her waist, tugging at the top of her pants. Buffy bit her lower lip hard, drawing blood, and moved her hips forward, encouraging him. He undid the button and lowered the zipper...Buffy wriggled free, her pants dropping to the ground. Stepping out of them, she kissed him again, keeping her eyes open. Spike stared back, fascinated, drawn in. He licked his lips, moaning, amazed that she wanted him to taste her blood, reeling from the sensation.  
  
He fumbled with his own pants, finally freeing himself.  
  
Buffy could see her reflection in his pupils and suddenly didn't feel as cold. And then she knew why. She had a soul...and Spike would never see his own reflection in her. She leaned back and Spike held her, lowering her onto the cold, wet ground, her eyes never leaving his. But Buffy didn't feel the cold beneath her. And as she waited for him, his pupils clouded over, her own image changing...until Buffy stared into two naked skulls grinning back at her.  
  
There, among the tombstones, the Slayer closed her eyes, retreating to the cold within, surrendering to it.  
  
And Spike remembered.  
  
*****  
  
"Thanks," nodded Faith, taking the glass from Dawn. Dawn tried not to laugh as she put the container back into the refrigerator but Faith heard her.  
  
"Hey, don't laugh. I'm finding that I like the taste of milk," protested Faith.  
  
"Whatever," shrugged Dawn. "It just doesn't fit the image of a vampire Slayer."  
  
"I should drink their blood before I kill them?" asked Faith sarcastically.  
  
"You know what I mean," said Dawn, opening a drawer.  
  
"And what are you looking for? I heard you rustling around in your room for like twenty minutes."  
  
"I lost an earring. I know it fell out somewhere," sighed Dawn.  
  
"And you think it might be in one of the kitchen drawers?" laughed Faith.  
  
"I put the silverware away before. I just thought...oh, forget it. It's not that important anyway."  
  
"Want me to help you look for it?" smiled Faith, taking a sip of milk. Dawn got angry but then had to laugh.  
  
"You know what?" said Dawn, opening another drawer and taking out a flashlight. "I went out to get the mail today. I'll be right back," said Dawn, running for the front door.  
  
"Dawn, it's raining out!"  
  
"I'll just be a minute. I have a flashlight!"  
  
The front door shut and suddenly the house was quiet. Faith took another sip of milk, listening to the rain against the window. The clock in living room began to chime. The rain...somehow this seemed familiar.  
  
And suddenly Faith couldn't breathe. Each chime of the clock seemed to match her own heartbeat. It was as if she could see, but she was back in Boston, in her old house. And the clock was chiming ten. The glass fell from her hand, shattering on the kitchen floor. Faith never heard it. Later, thinking back, she would regret that she didn't.  
  
"Dawn," whispered Faith.  
  
She turned and bumped into the kitchen table, stumbling over a chair and knocking it sideways on the floor. Faith crawled on her hands and knees for a moment then scrambled to her feet.  
  
"Dawn!" she screamed, reaching blindly for the wall. She found the stairs, turned and dove for the front door, frantically searching for the handle.  
  
"Dawn!"  
  
Faith gripped the handle and pulled but the door stuck, only opening because the frame splintered near the lock. She stumbled outside, lost her balance and fell to her knees.  
  
"Dawn!" screamed Faith, beginning to panic.  
  
"Faith, I'm right here."  
  
Faith jumped to her feet and ran in the direction of her voice.  
  
"Keep talking! I need to hear your voice to find you!"  
  
"I'm right here, on the sidewalk," called Dawn. Faith ran towards her.  
  
"Faith!" warned Dawn as she approached, but she had to tackle the Slayer as she crashed into her. Faith managed to stay on her feet, holding Dawn up.  
  
"We're not in the street, are we? Dawn, are we..."   
"No! We're on the sidewalk! What the hell's wrong with you? You know how pissed Buffy's going to be about that door?" yelled Dawn.  
  
Faith ignored her and laughed, gripping Dawn in a bear hug.  
  
"Faith...having a problem with the breathing thing," gasped Dawn.  
  
"Oh. Sorry," smiled Faith, letting her go. But Faith had lost her sunglasses and Dawn could see that she was crying.  
  
"Faith, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. You just scared the hell out of me, that's all," ginned Faith, wiping her eyes. "Let's get inside."  
  
But Dawn didn't answer.  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
Dawn didn't have to answer. Faith could sense it. She didn't need to see. The Slayer spun around, listening.  
  
"Dawn, stay behind me! Where is it? I need you to be my eyes," said Faith calmly, though her heart was racing. She crouched into a fighting stance.  
  
"About ten feet in front of us," whispered Dawn.   
  
"Don't whisper. Talk! It can hear you anyway," scolded Faith.  
  
"Faith...duck!"  
  
Faith pulled her neck in but the vampire's fist glanced off her forehead. She lashed out with a fist and connected with a shoulder, getting an angry growl in response.  
  
"Dawn, find a piece of wood, a stick, anything! Oomph!" grunted Faith, taking a punch in the stomach. She doubled over and tried to hang on but the vampire broke free.   
  
Faith spread out her arms, trying not to breathe so she could hear its movement. A footstep in the wet grass to her left. And another. She swung but missed. The vampire didn't, using both hands clenched together as a weapon, smashing into Faith's cheek. She fell to one knee and slipped on the grass as she tried to get back up. The vampire tackled her onto her back. She could smell its fetid breath near her neck.  
  
The Slayer rolled and managed to keep the creature pinned under her. But then two hands were on her throat, viciously squeezing. Faith couldn't breath. She tried to pry free of its grip but her fingers kept slipping on its wet skin.  
  
"Faith, roll over!" yelled Dawn.  
  
Faith leaned to her right, then pulled left and wound up on her back with the vampire still holding on, crushing her throat. A moment later came that distinct sound of exploding ash. Dawn had staked it through the back with a splinter from the door.   
  
"Yes! My first kill!" chirped Dawn excitedly.  
  
Faith moaned and rolled over onto her side, holding her stomach.  
  
"Faith? Faith, what's wrong?"  
  
Faith only moaned louder, her face contorted in pain.  
  
"He didn't hit you that hard. Faith...Faith, I'll, I'll go find Buffy!"  
  
"No!" yelled Faith through clenched teeth, wincing in pain. "Call an ambulance."  
  
Dawn stood there, frozen.  
  
"Dawn!"  
  
"Okay. Okay, I, I'll be right back. Just..."  
  
Dawn ran into the house.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy looked up, just realizing that she was almost home, but she didn't walk any faster, suddenly uneasy about going back. Then she saw Willow walking towards her. And by the look on her face, she hadn't found Tara. They met in front of Buffy's driveway, glancing at one another.  
  
"You get any?" asked Willow.  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Vampires," clarified Willow, eyeing Buffy with an odd expression.  
  
"Oh. Right. One. It was...it was an uneventful night. No Tara?" sighed Buffy.  
  
Willow shook her head forlornly. And then Dawn came running out of the house.  
  
"Where the hell have you two been!?" screamed Dawn.  
  
"Dawn, what..."  
  
"They wouldn't let me ride in the ambulance!" shouted Dawn, ignoring Buffy. "Xander's on his way over here now to pick me up."  
  
Buffy grabbed Dawn firmly by the arms, forcing her sister to look at her. Dawn pulled free, angry.  
  
"What ambulance? What happened?" shouted Buffy.  
  
"It's Faith."  
  
*****  
  
"You sure there wasn't more than one?" You sure she wasn't stabbed?" asked Buffy for the third time as she burst through the emergency room doors.  
  
"No! And, and I don't get it. She wasn't hit that hard. Then again, I've never been punched by a..."  
  
"Shh," warned Buffy, silencing Dawn. They strode up to the nurses station with Willow, Xander and Anya trailing behind.  
  
"Excuse me, you just brought a girl in. She's about my height, dark hair...oh, and she's blind!" added Buffy nervously.  
  
"You must mean Faith," answered a nurse, smiling even though she looked exhausted. "Are you family?"  
  
Buffy hesitated but Dawn jumped right in.  
  
"Yes. I'm her sister."  
  
"This is Dawn. And I'm Buffy. Her sister. Which makes Faith..."  
  
"I get it," smiled the nurse, glancing at Willow.  
  
"Oh, I'm not. Related, I mean. See?" asked Willow, holding up her red hair.  
  
"I'm so glad you came. She needs her family now," said the nurse, coming around from behind the counter.  
  
"Is she alright? What's wrong?" asked Buffy quickly.  
  
"Oh, physically she's doing remarkably well, considering what she's been through. But, well, she needs a shoulder to lean on. I'm so glad you came. I was worried that she was alone. She didn't mention any family or friends," added the nurse. Buffy cringed. The nurse was obviously leading them to her room but Buffy put a hand on her arm, stopping her.  
  
"Excuse me, I don't understand. If Faith's okay, physically, what..."  
  
"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I...I just assumed you knew or, or had at least considered the possibility. Especially with what happened to her. Faith lost the baby," winced the nurse.  
  
Buffy stared blankly at the nurse then slowly turned to face Dawn and Willow. They both mirrored her expression.  
  
"She...she lost...the baby?" said Buffy, more to herself than to the nurse, still not accepting what those words meant.  
  
"I don't know what this world is coming to. A total stranger beating up women, and a blind one at that!" spat the nurse.  
  
"Oh God," whispered Xander in the background, putting an arm around Anya.  
  
"I can let you see her. I want you to see her. But only two at a time, please. She's right in there," nodded the nurse to a closed door. "I'm so sorry. My name's Debbie. If there's anything I can do or if you need something, I'll be at the station for at least another two hours."  
  
She hesitated uncomfortably, then turned and walked away. No one spoke. Wide-eyed, Buffy simply looked at Dawn and Willow, unable to move.  
  
"We...we should go in," suggested Willow softly. "Dawn, could I go in first, with Buffy?"  
  
"Um, yeah. Sure," shrugged Dawn absently. Buffy didn't move so Willow took her arm and led her to the door.  
  
"That's why she was drinking milk," sighed Willow. Buffy put her hand on the door but turned to face Willow.  
  
"She tried to tell me. She, she said...she would get a second chance to feel love again. This is what she meant," winced Buffy, shaking her head.  
  
"Buffy, we should try to put on a brave face for her. Not that she can...you know what I mean," frowned Willow.  
  
Buffy nodded and pushed the door open.  
  
END OF PART FIVE 


	6. Part Six

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART SIX  
  
Willow closed the door behind her. Faith was sitting up in bed, a flimsy hospital gown covering her, an IV tube in one arm. Her eyes were open, staring, but she didn't turn her head in their direction. Willow had to prod Buffy to move closer.  
  
"Dawn?" ventured Faith, finally looking over.  
  
"No. It's me," said Buffy.  
  
"And me," added Willow.  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"How's Dawn? Is, is she okay?" asked Faith.  
  
"Yeah. She's fine. She's right outside, waiting to see you," answered Buffy.   
  
"Thanks for...protecting her. We heard what happened," hinted Willow, trying to find a way to bring up a subject everyone seemed to be avoiding.  
  
"She killed it. I just got in the way," sighed Faith.  
  
"Dawn's first kill. Wow, my little sister is growing up," smiled Buffy, her words thick with sarcasm.  
  
"B, it was so weird. Like one of those dreams we get, only...not. Deju vu with a twist. It happened, all over again. The rain, the clock chiming ten, Dawn outside...wicked creepy. I, I just..."  
  
Faith trailed off, still looking in their direction, her head slightly lowered. With a nudge from Willow's elbow, Buffy sat on the edge of the bed and reached out, holding Faith's hand. She smiled, briefly, and gripped Buffy's hand tightly. Very tightly. For a moment it looked like Faith might cry but she fought it off.  
  
"Faith, how are you doing?" asked Buffy.  
  
"I'm alive," shrugged Faith, a statement without conviction.  
  
"Faith, I'm so sorry," said Willow, not hiding the pain in her voice.  
  
Faith nodded but didn't say anything.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us? Why...why didn't you tell me?" winced Buffy.  
  
"I tried to, B. I wanted to. But..."  
  
Buffy glanced at Willow and waited, giving Faith the time she needed.  
  
"But then I'd have to explain the how. And I'm not sure I can," said Faith quickly, trying to get the words out.  
  
"Well, the how? Not really needing the details. I assume it...the father, was a prison guard?" asked Buffy. Faith pulled her hand free to rub her eyes. She simply nodded.  
  
"Faith, we don't have to talk about this now. Maybe later, when you're..."  
  
"He beat me," whispered Faith. Buffy narrowed her eyes, not understanding what she just heard.  
  
"What?" said Willow, thrown.  
  
"You heard me," said Faith, her voice only a little louder. "Thing is...I let him."  
  
Willow glanced at Buffy but she was just staring blankly at Faith.  
  
"Faith, I don't understand. You're a Slayer," said Willow.  
  
"Yep. Coulda snapped his neck with a flick of my wrist. Coulda cried self defense...not that anyone would've believed me...would've cared. Hell, I'm sure most people would've expected me to kill him," sighed Faith.  
  
Neither girl spoke. They just didn't know what to say. Faith talked but looked towards the end of the bed, her hair hanging down just enough to hide her unfocused eyes.   
  
"It wasn't so bad. I don't bruise so easy, ya know? Least not on the outside."  
  
"Faith," began Buffy, but Faith ignored her.  
  
"He wasn't like that, not at first. See, I didn't have a cellmate. The other girls were afraid of me. As were most of the guards. So everyone left me alone. No one to talk to, no one to...weeks went by, then months. After a while it wasn't even a routine anymore. Couldn't tell if it was night time or day."  
  
Faith rubbed her hands over her face and took a deep breath. Willow stood closer to the head of the bed and put a hand on her shoulder. Buffy simply stared at her, barely breathing.  
  
"I need to say this. I do," said Faith, nodding, trying to her encourage own confession.  
  
"Go on," consoled Willow, now ignoring Buffy and only watching Faith.   
  
"At first we just talked. Just a hello or, or what's for lunch? But, but I found myself waiting, just in case, just for a chance to hear a few words. I wouldn't move, afraid I might miss him if he walked by."  
  
Faith pulled at the thin blanket covering her as if she were cold.  
  
"One day his hand accidentally brushed against my wrist. I don't think he even knew. That one touch...I just sat there, staring at my wrist. And I realized how lonely I was...how alone. See, I thought I had figured it out. I belonged there. I couldn't hurt anyone there. As far as the world was concerned I was dead."  
  
Faith turned her hand over, palm up, as if she could see again.   
  
"I was," sniffed Faith, biting down on her lower lip. Willow rubbed her shoulder again.  
  
"Well, he liked what he saw. After that...he wanted to, to do...things. I didn't care. I mean, if it was wrong, I should've felt humiliated...felt shame, or, or something! All I felt was his touch...warm, so unlike my own. It was better than feeling nothing. And if I didn't do what he wanted, he hit me. If I didn't do it fast enough...he hit me. Sometimes, even if I, I got it right he would beat me. But I never cried out. Not once. I wouldn't give that to him. And how he hated that!" laughed Faith.  
  
"Faith, you don't have to...," began Buffy.  
  
"Yes! I do!" shouted Faith, startling Willow. She withdrew her hand.  
  
"Sorry," whispered Faith meekly.  
  
"No, it's alright. Get it out," said Willow. Faith barely nodded.  
  
"After a while, even that warmth was gone. There was nothing. I couldn't feel anything. Not the sex, not the beatings...that's when I got scared. Wicked scared. I couldn't even hold onto the satisfaction of denying him what he wanted to hear. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, that I couldn't sink any lower, I woke up one morning...and couldn't see. You know, I actually believed I had died. Hell, I couldn't see, couldn't feel..."  
  
Faith simply stopped talking. Willow swallowed, began to say something, then stopped.  
  
"And, for the first time in, God, I don't know how long...I was happy. No, not happy. Just relieved that it was finally over," said Faith, tears only now running down her cheeks. "Even that release didn't last."  
  
Willow glanced at Buffy out of the corner of her eye. Buffy just sat there, staring unfocused at a spot on the bed. Willow slowly let out a breath, puffing out her cheeks. Faith wiped her eyes.  
  
"Is that when you found out you were pregnant? When they brought you to the infirmary?" asked Willow.  
  
"Yeah. Skipping ahead...they let me go. Out of pity, I guess," shrugged Faith. "At my hearing I wouldn't even give them his name."  
  
The room was quiet except for the humming of the monitors and machines by the bed. Buffy reached out and gave Faith's hand an unanswered squeeze.  
  
"Things happen for a reason. This, this never woulda worked out, ya know? I mean, look at me! I can barely get through one day. I don't know how to live! All I know how to do is kill. So, so how...how could I..."  
  
Faith shut her eyes, her body beginning to tremble. She covered her face, trying to hide that she was crying, but began to sob loudly, unable to hold back any longer.  
  
"I'm sorry, I, I promised myself that I wouldn't cry," whispered Faith. Buffy reached for her, slipping her arms around her back and pulling Faith to her. Faith resisted for a moment then slumped forward, hiding her face in Buffy's shoulder. Buffy closed her eyes, wincing, holding her tight, letting her cry.  
  
"Buffy...it was a girl," whispered Faith. Buffy's body went rigid, her eyes popping open. She pulled away slightly and brushed the hair away from Faith's face.  
  
"They told you that?" asked Buffy, cringing.  
  
"I asked. I...I had to know," whimpered Faith, he face still contorted with pain. She slowly leaned into Buffy again, clinging on desperately.  
  
"Faith, I'm so sorry," tried Willow, a hand on Faith's shoulder. Faith didn't respond.  
  
"B, they want me to stay overnight. I can't. I just can't. I hate hospitals! The smell...I'm going to die if I have to stay here," said Faith, pushing away.  
  
"I'll talk to the doctor. Maybe you can sign a release or something. But I doubt it. Faith, if you have to stay, you won't be alone. I promise. I'll go find the doctor right now, okay?" offered Buffy.  
  
"Thanks," nodded Faith, wiping her eyes. She felt Willow sit down on the bed next to her.  
  
"Faith, if this helps...I mean, it's something to hang on to. I'm going to do the spell."  
  
"Willow, no. I can't ask you..."  
  
"There's no asking. My mind's made up. So, try to get some rest. This time tomorrow? You'll have your eyesight back," smiled Willow, running her hand through Faith's hair.  
  
"But Tara..."  
  
"Already gave me her blessing. I just wasn't listening. Again," sighed Willow. She hesitated, then kissed Faith's cheek and quickly stood up.  
  
"I'll send Dawn in. She wants to see you," said Willow.  
  
"Buffy? About tonight, maybe...maybe ask Xander? I don't want to be alone," said Faith nervously.  
  
"I'll stay," replied Buffy.  
  
"B, you don't have to," objected Faith.  
  
"I want to," insisted Buffy. Faith smiled and nodded.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I'm just stepping out with Willow for a minute. Dawn will come in and then I'll track down the doctor. Hell, I've been here enough. Maybe I can find one that knows me and I can work the sympathy angle, get you out," said Buffy. "Be right back."  
  
Buffy closed the door behind them and quickly turned on Willow.  
  
"Wow," said Willow, shaking her head. "Just...wow."  
  
"Yeah. Will, are you sure about this? What if..."  
  
"Never been more sure of anything," interrupted Willow, frowning at Buffy, getting upset that she seemed unmoved by Faith's story.  
  
Buffy looked away as if she knew what Willow was thinking.  
  
"Buffy, do you still believe that's the same girl in there that tried to kill you?" asked Willow, crossing her arms. To her surprise, Buffy didn't hesitate with her answer.  
  
"No."  
  
Xander, Anya and Dawn came over and stood by them.  
  
"How is she?" asked Dawn.  
  
Willow looked at Buffy before answering, keeping her eyes on her friend as she spoke. And then she nodded her head and smiled.  
  
"I think she's doing the best she can. She's strong...and we'll be there for her," said Willow, keeping eye contact with Buffy. Buffy raised her eyebrows, then smiled for Willow. Willow nodded again.  
  
"Dawn, let's give her a minute. I don't think she wants you to see how upset she is," warned Buffy.  
  
"What do I say?" frowned Dawn.  
  
"You really don't have to say anything. Faith's scared, doesn't want to be alone. Just...just be yourself," smiled Buffy. "It's that simple."  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
"Xander, can you drive me to the Magic Shop? I need to pick up a few things," said Willow.  
  
"You sure? What about the giving up magic cold poultry?" asked Anya.  
  
"Turkey, honey. Cold turkey. Sure. Let's get going," answered Xander.  
  
"I thought turkey was foul and chicken was poultry," added Anya. Willow rolled her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
Tara stood in the doorway of her empty bedroom, not bothering to turn the light on. She saw the blinking red light on her answering machine but ignored it. Expending the energy to remain angry was exhausting but it was easier than giving in to her grief. Afraid to be alone, Tara suddenly knew where to go.  
  
*****  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Hmm? Wh...what? Oh! I'm here. Faith, I'm right here," reassured Buffy, rubbing her eyes and yawning.  
  
"I knew that, B. Hell, you snore like a longshoreman. And I should know!" laughed Faith. Buffy smiled, amazed to hear Faith laugh again. Yet she knew Faith was only hiding, defensively falling back to her old patterns, to what was familiar. It was both comforting and sad.  
  
"I do not!" protested Buffy. But Faith could hear the humor in her voice. Buffy got up out of the chair and stretched.  
  
"What time is it?" asked Faith.  
  
"About ten of eight. So, you ready to go home yet?" asked Buffy. "I have to warn you, if you think the food here is bad, wait until you taste my cooking."  
  
"Home? You're sending me back to Boston?" asked Faith innocently.  
  
"Don't go anywhere," smiled Buffy, shaking her head. "I'll be right back."  
  
*****  
  
"Okay, Faith's all settled, Will. So...no word from Tara?" asked Buffy.  
  
"No. I've left a couple of messages but she hasn't returned my calls. Yet," added Willow hopefully.  
  
"A couple of messages?" prodded Buffy.  
  
"Or ten. I lost count," pouted Willow.  
  
"Want me to swing by, see if she's still sleeping?" asked Buffy.  
  
"No, I need you to help me set up. Maybe Xander could do the swinging? You know, that sounded better in my head."  
  
"I'll call him," agreed Buffy. "Um, Willow. You can do this? Without her, I mean."  
  
"Yeah. I think so," nodded Willow unenthusiastically.  
  
"You think so? Why am I not comforted by that answer?"  
  
"Buffy, I can do this. Tara would be more of a comfy blanket for me. I just want to talk to her, make things right again," sighed Willow.  
  
"And you will," smiled Buffy.  
  
"I'll be in my room, getting things ready," said Willow dejectedly.  
  
"Will, wait. Tara loves you. Everything's going to work out. You'll see."  
  
Willow looked down at the floor doubtfully.  
  
"I don't know," whispered Willow.  
  
"Hey! I see how her face lights up when you walk into the room. How she moves aside in her chair, inviting you to be next to her. Willow, she hangs on to every word you say. Even now after all this time she's still in that puppy dog stage of love. Come on...you know I'm right," smiled Buffy.  
  
Willow tried to frown but ended up smiling.  
  
"Thanks," nodded Willow, her face turning a little red. She walked back to her room with just a little more spring in her step.   
  
Buffy turned to see Dawn watching her from the doorway of her room. She didn't try to hide the fact that she had been listening and she didn't move to go back into her room. Buffy took that as an invitation to talk.  
  
"You should've been there," whispered Dawn, even though Willow couldn't hear her now. Buffy walked over to her, taking a deep breath.  
  
"No. You don't get to do that. It's not fair! There's no way I could've known what would've happened last night," argued Buffy.  
  
"I'm not just talking about last night! I'm talking about Willow. Hello? She's your best friend. Maybe if you had just spent a little more time with her, just talked to her...maybe she wouldn't be hurting like this now, wouldn't have gotten in over her head with magic. Maybe Tara would still..."  
  
Dawn crossed her arms and turned away. But she didn't leave. Buffy looked down at her hands.  
  
"You're right. Feel any better? And I don't know what's worse, Dawn. Knowing I blew it...or not feeling guilty about it. It's Willow! This should be tearing me up inside. Thing is, I want it to. Dawn, there's something so wrong with me. I wake up, hoping that this day will get just a little bit better. But it doesn't. It doesn't," whispered Buffy.  
  
Dawn lowered her arms and faced her sister, trying not to look scared.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't lie to you. I, I just didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to worry," winced Buffy, holding out her arms. Dawn hugged her, keeping her face away from Buffy.  
  
"I'm not a little kid anymore. You can tell me anything," said Dawn.  
  
"Maybe I can," laughed Buffy so that she wouldn't cry. "And I promise you, I'm going to get better. You'll see. And Willow's going be fine. I know it."  
  
"You know, if it helps, you can still call me Dawnie. But, not in front of the others, okay?" asked Dawn, looking up.  
  
"Thanks. I'd like that."  
  
"If only mom were here. She'd understand. She'd know what to do," sighed Dawn.  
  
"She understands, Dawn," smiled Buffy. But then her smile faded away as she looked into her sister's eyes. Dawn stepped away from her, mouth open.  
  
"Buffy...did you...when you were..."  
  
"No," said Buffy, closing her eyes.  
  
"Buffy...did you see mom when you were..."  
  
"No! No, it wasn't like that. I...Dawn, I'm sorry, I can't talk about this. Please. Just know that she's at peace. There's no way I can make you understand. Please," said Buffy, gently grabbing Dawn's arms, afraid she would run away. But Dawn didn't move. She simply looked up at Buffy and slowly nodded her head.  
  
"Okay. I won't push. I just miss her, that's all," winced Dawn, bravely holding back tears. Buffy leaned down and kissed Dawn's forehead.  
  
"Me too," smiled Buffy, sniffing. "Now do me a favor and go call Xander. He needs to find Tara and explain things, get her over here."  
  
Dawn hugged her sister once more and then ran for the phone. Buffy rubbed her face with her hands, then walked back into Willow's room. Faith was sitting on the bed, Willow was drawing a circle with red chalk on the floor.  
  
"What's up?" ventured Buffy.  
  
"Well, it's not really that complicated. Faith sits within a circle of protection," said Willow, nodding towards the floor. "I basically call out this curse from her. Since she's within the circle, the magicks can't reenter her."  
  
"And that's it? I'm cured?" asked Faith.  
  
"Well...no. Your sight will come back, slowly at first but you should be able to walk around the room without bumping into things in about five minutes," explained Willow as she continued to draw.  
  
"So if the magicks can't reenter Faith, where do they go?" asked Buffy.  
  
Willow raised her eyebrows and continued to draw.  
  
"No!" said Buffy.  
  
"That's why only I can be in the room. But don't worry," said Willow, sitting back on her heels. "Because of what I am and what I can do, my body will heal where Faith's couldn't. It's like beating the common cold, only quicker and without the chicken soup!"  
  
"The common cold," said Faith doubtfully.  
  
"Well, okay, maybe it's more like the flu. But not to worry. I can do this. It's not much more than a restoring balance spell. What's happened to Faith isn't natural. Believe me, it's easier to make things right in nature than to disrupt harmony."  
  
Buffy looked at Faith. So did Willow.  
  
"I'm sorry you have to do this, Willow," said Faith, shaking her head.  
  
"Don't be!" admonished Willow.  
  
"Is there anything you need, anything I can do?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Um, yes. You can get a bucket and fill it with ice water. Oh, and get a few towels. See, I'm going to be running a high fever for a few hours. The cold towels will help. When the fever breaks, then it's all over," smiled Willow.  
  
"Fever, huh? Would aspirin or Advil help?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Already took half a dozen. Didn't want to take any more and get an upset tummy," frowned Willow, getting back down on her hands and knees to finish the circle.  
  
"How soon should I get that?" asked Buffy.  
  
"I'm thinking now. I just have to bless the circle. Already have the other ingredients mixed," replied Willow. "There. That should hold."  
  
"Should?" repeated Faith.  
  
"You're not going to wait for Tara?" asked Buffy.  
  
"No. It'll be dark soon and these magicks are more effective in daylight. I want to get started. You ready, Faith?"  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be when it comes to magic," sighed Faith.  
  
*****  
  
"Interesting scent," commented Faith as Willow lit the last of three candles.  
  
"Don't ask," frowned Willow. She looked back over her shoulder at Buffy standing in the doorway. Dawn was peering over her sister's shoulder.  
  
"Should I shut the door?" asked Buffy.  
  
"No. It's not necessary. Um, did you hear from Xander?" asked Willow hopefully.  
  
"He called but...I told him not to come here until he found her," said Buffy.  
  
"Okay," nodded Willow. "It's time."  
  
Willow poured some red wine into a plain wooden bowl, raised it to her lips and drank from it, quickly putting the bowl back down. She paused, looking back at the wine bottle.  
  
"What's that for?" asked Dawn, getting a gentle warning elbow from Buffy.  
  
"For luck...for courage," shrugged Willow, still staring at the bottle.  
  
"Something wrong?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Um, no," answered Willow, embarrassed. "It's just...I can taste Tara's lipstick in the wine."  
  
Misty eyed, Willow smiled longingly at Buffy.   
  
"Uh, Willow? Is this going to hurt?" asked Faith anxiously.  
  
"No. You might feel a sensation like your ears popping, but the whole procedure is actually over real fast. Well, at least for you. Just don't move out of that circle until I tell you to."  
  
"Okay," nodded Faith. She moved from kneeling to sitting cross-legged.  
  
"Comfortable?" asked Willow as she reached for a small but sharp knife, holding it over a candle.  
  
"I guess."   
  
Buffy's eyes grew wide as Willow stabbed the point into her palm without flinching, drawing blood.  
  
"Faith, hold your right hand out in front of you, palm up," ordered Willow. Faith did as she was told. "You're going to feel a little pinch, that's all."  
  
Willow poked the knife into Faith's palm. She winced but didn't cry out. Willow put the knife down and gripped Faith's hand, mixing their blood.  
  
"Conligare!" said Willow. She held Faith's hand for a moment, then released it. Dipping her fingers into a wooden bowl next to her, she stirred the reddish brown contents in a counterclockwise motion.  
  
"Faith, close your eyes."  
  
Willow leaned forward and applied the mixture to Faith's eyelids, again in a counterclockwise motion. Placing her hands on either side of Faith's face, Willow covered the Slayer's eyes with her thumbs. Apprehensively taking a deep breath, she closed her own eyes.  
  
"Intrare!" called out Willow, tensing as if expecting a blow.  
  
Nothing happened. And then the candles flickered out. Faith gasped as Willow withdrew her hands with a smile.  
  
"Open your eyes, Faith."  
  
She did. And immediately looked frightened.  
  
"Willow, are you sure..."  
  
"I'm sure," comforted Willow. "Just be still."  
  
Buffy felt Dawn's hand slip into her own but she didn't look at her. She exhaled, not realizing that she had been holding her breath.  
  
"Hey," whispered Faith. And then she began to smile. "Hey!"  
  
The darkness before Faith began to fade, dissipating like a fog. Her world became gray, then even brighter. Dark objects took form, became defined. The bed, the chair...and Willow, kneeling in front of her.  
  
"Willow, it's working!" laughed Faith, squinting. "In fact, it's too bright in here."   
  
"Was there ever a doubt?" teased Willow. "You can step out of that circle now."  
  
"Okay, but everything's still a little fuzzy. Won't stop me from doing this, though."  
  
Faith reached out and took Willow into her arms, hugging her tightly.  
  
"Thank you," smiled Faith, her voice breaking. And she felt Willow's body tremble in her embrace.  
  
"Willow?" said Faith, pulling back.  
  
"It's okay. The fever's kicking in. Um, Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah?" answered Buffy, quickly kneeling by Willow's side. She grimaced, seeing how slick her friend's skin already was, wet with beads of moisture. And she was shaking.  
  
"Can, can you help me into bed?" asked Willow weakly.  
  
"Sure," replied Buffy, glancing at Faith, smiling despite her concern. "Will, you did great. Hell, you were amazing!"  
  
"Yay for me," moaned Willow in response.  
  
"Hey. You okay?" asked Faith, gently touching Willow's face with the back of her hand, shocked at how warm she already was.  
  
"I'm not sure," winced Willow. "I'm kinda dizzy, and, and..."  
  
"Too weak to stand up?" tried Buffy.  
  
"Well, there's that," nodded Willow. "But I was going to add...I'm kinda blind. As in I can't see."  
  
"What?" said Buffy and Faith at the same time.  
  
"It's not an unexpected side effect. And it makes sense, if you think about it...which I really don't want to do," grimaced Willow, her body wracked by chills.  
  
"Okay, into bed it is," said Buffy, getting an arm under Willow's legs and lifting, holding her face close to her. "Faith, get those covers down."  
  
"Right."  
  
Buffy eased Willow onto the bed.  
  
"Will, this is only temporary, right?" demanded Buffy.  
  
"Yes. Don't worry," answered Willow through chattering teeth. Buffy pulled the blankets up over her. "Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah? What can I do? Just tell me," insisted Buffy.  
  
"Find Tara. Tell her I need her. Please?"  
  
Buffy took her hand and held it tightly.  
  
"I'll find her. I promise. Faith, are you okay? Can you stay with her?"  
  
"No problem. Go. Take Dawn with you," nodded Faith, already reaching for a wet towel.  
  
"I'll be back soon, Will. Okay?" asked Buffy.  
  
Willow nodded and closed her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
"Remember, keep the door locked. I won't be long. I hope. But Tara might come by the Magic Shop looking for..."  
  
"Buffy, I'll be okay. The lights are on, the door will be locked and there's a phone. It'll be dark soon, so go!" insisted Dawn.  
  
Buffy left and Dawn locked the door behind her. She turned around, noticing immediately how much more quiet this place was at night than in the day.  
  
*****  
  
"How ya doing, Willow?" asked Faith, holding a wet towel on her forehead.  
  
"Better...better..."  
  
"Good," smiled Faith, completely unconvinced.  
  
"No. You better get the bucket. I think I'm going to barf!"  
  
"Oh!"  
  
*****  
  
Buffy hated going where she had to go, but she didn't know what else to do. She needed help. His help. But only to cover more of Sunnydale to find Tara, Buffy reminded herself. She stopped before she even got to his crypt, speaking without turning around.  
  
"Geez, horny much? The sun set what? Thirty seconds ago? And already you're on my butt?" sighed Buffy, only now turning to face Spike.  
  
"Be still my heart, it's my lover. Oh wait. Uh, about that beating heart thingy," said Spike wryly.  
  
"I get it," winced Buffy.  
  
"And you wish I were on your butt," smiled Spike, stepping in front of her.  
  
"Spike, there's no time for..."  
  
Spike leaned in, kissing her tenderly on the neck.  
  
"I mean, I, um...don't do that," whispered Buffy, closing her eyes, leaning to him.  
  
He moved up her neck, nibbling on her ear.  
  
"Spike, I need your...I need..."  
  
Buffy took his head in her hands and kissed him deeply on the mouth. Spike was the one to pull away first. Buffy slowly opened her glazed over eyes.  
  
"You...wanted...something?" whispered Spike, his lips enticingly close. She kissed him again, softer this time.  
  
"No, no I..." protested Buffy weakly out of the side of her mouth.  
  
Spike ignored her and began to fervently return the kiss, supporting her as he felt her knees weaken.  
  
END OF PART SIX 


	7. Part Seven

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART SEVEN  
  
"Willow?"  
  
Faith wrung most of the cold water from the towel and pressed it to Willow's neck, holding it in place for a while, then reached under her blouse, moving it down over first one shoulder and then the other.  
  
"Hey, how you doin' in there?" asked Faith, trying to keep her voice upbeat. Willow's eyes were closed. Her body shivered in response.   
  
Faith dropped the towel into the bucket again, this time barely squeezing it at all. She covered Willow's forehead with it, letting the water run down her face and neck.  
  
"I liked it a hell of a lot better when you were all delirious and stuff, what with Anya and frog colored bunnies...what the hell is frog color anyway?"  
  
Willow moaned but didn't open her eyes. Faith glanced at the clock.  
  
"Come on, B, where the hell are you? I'm not good at...this. Give me something I can stab or beat!"  
  
Faith ran her forearm across her forehead, wiping the sweat away.  
  
"I don't know what else to do here, girl!" yelled Faith, trying not to panic. Willow moaned again.  
  
"Um, okay, the other night, you just wanted to hear my voice. So I'll just keep talking. You don't like? Then tell me to shut up."  
  
Faith flipped the towel over and touched it to Willow's cheeks before putting it back on her forehead. Except for the twitching as her body fought the fever, Willow was limp.  
  
"Let's see. How 'bout a story? Oh! I know. I keep having this dream. Hell, I've had it so many times now...that ever happen to you? Same thing, over and over...Buffy and me, we're fighting again. Outside of my apartment, on the roof. She gets a good one in, nearly knocking my head off, ya know?"  
  
Faith tossed the towel into the bucket of ice water, this time not even pretending to squeeze any water out of it. She covered Willow's chest with it, pushing it inside of her blouse. Willow shook with the initial contact but didn't even moan this time.  
  
"Damn! I don't even want to guess what your temperature is," sighed Faith. "Anyway, I come right back on B. I think I surprised her. She cries out, gasping, and we both look down. Only this time the knife is in her belly...not mine."  
  
Faith inhaled slowly, her own body trembling. She rolled the towel up and placed it on Willow's head again.  
  
"I cry out her name, over and over. But it's too late. You can't...some things you just can't make better. Oh, and I didn't just cry out her name," smiled Faith. "Guess I sorta moaned it. And wasn't that amusing back when I had a cellmate. Try explaining moaning a girl's name in your sleep every night to a more than curious..."  
  
Faith glanced up at the clock and shook her head.  
  
"Well, enough of that story. Don't need Freud to analyze that dream, ya know? How 'bout...hmm...I know! I never did tell you about that time I was in the library but you and Oz didn't know I was there, did I? Oh, you naughty girl," grinned Faith.  
  
*****  
  
Spike prolonged the kiss, feeling Buffy's body rise to meet his. He rested his hand on the inside of her hip and with a moan Buffy pulled away.  
  
"No. No, Spike I can't. I...Tara. I have to find Tara!" said Buffy, out of breath.  
  
"Tara? Why are you looking for her?" asked Spike, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his duster.  
  
"It's Willow. She's very sick. Tara needs to be with her."  
  
Spike hesitated, seeing Buffy frown at his smokes, and reluctantly shoved the pack back into his coat.  
  
"Red's been messing with the magicks again?" inquired Spike.  
  
"No! Well, yes, but only to help Faith," said Buffy, running her hands over her face.  
  
"Faith? The other Slayer is not only out of prison but here in Sunnydale? Oh joy of joys," said Spike, rolling his eyes. "Since when does that one need help from anyone?"  
  
"And you know her how?" asked Buffy, hands on her hips.  
  
"Your old soldier boy filled me in some. The rest I picked up on the street. Girl's got a rep," grinned Spike approvingly.  
  
"And word on the street about Faith is?" hinted Buffy, tilting her head.  
  
"Not good. Face it, Buffy, a Slayer to my kind is dangerous enough. But a Slayer playing cricket with only half a wicket?" said Spike, shaking his head and tapping it with one finger.  
  
"She's not like that. Faith's different now," argued Buffy. "And what's half a wicket?"  
  
"Right. All the same, I believe I'll keep my distance, thank you very much. Not that I doubt you," added Spike, rolling his eyes.  
  
Buffy lowered her arms and smiled.  
  
"Oh, so what you're saying is that once someone is labeled evil they should never be trusted again, should never be given a second chance," nodded Buffy.  
  
"Um, no, that's not what I meant," pouted Spike.  
  
"Look, someone worked some bad mojo on her, made her blind. Willow cured her. Spike, I don't have time for this! I need you to help me find Tara!" shouted Buffy, exasperated.  
  
"Fine by me! Bloody hell, all you have to do is ask," frowned Spike.  
  
"Sorry, I got distracted," answered Buffy sarcastically. Spike eyed her, pretending to be bored. "Spike, will you help me look for Tara!?"  
  
"Hmm," said Spike, rubbing his chin as he smiled at Buffy. "What's in it for me?"  
  
Buffy took a step towards him and glared menacingly.  
  
"If you don't, I'll tell Xander that you were a virgin the day you died," grinned Buffy.  
  
"How did...I mean, pfft! Please! Me? A bloody...anyway, no need to look. She spent the night with me," winked Spike.  
  
Buffy just stared at him.  
  
"Not like that!" complained Spike. "Girl was lonely, is all. And might I add that wench can drink! Poor thing's paying for it now, though. Been sleeping it off in my bed all day."  
  
"You got her drunk?"  
  
"She got herself drunk and with no encouragement from me, I might add!" shouted Spike.  
  
Buffy sighed and stormed past him.  
  
"Hey, I had to watch Passions sitting on the floor!"  
  
Buffy shoved the door to Spike's crypt open and ran in. Tara moaned at the noise and sat up in his bed, one hand holding her head. She squinted at Buffy, wincing.  
  
"Tara. We have to go. It's Willow."  
  
"Is she..."  
  
"She's very sick. And your cactus died because of a spell that Amy did. I'll explain on the way," said Buffy, turning to go. Tara just sat there, looking around the room.  
  
"Buffy...where are my pants?"  
  
Buffy's eyes opened wide and she turned to face Spike. He shrugged innocently and went back outside.  
  
*****   
  
Willow sat in front of a mirror, brushing her hair, staring at her own reflection, staring into her completely black eyes. The room was more than dark. It was empty. On the stark dresser before her two flickering candles cast shadows to either side of her ghost image. The room was cold...Willow was cold, but it didn't bother her. And she wondered why. Pulling the brush through her hair once more, she noticed that her skin seemed awfully pale, even more so than usual. If it was this cold...why couldn't she see her breath? And why were her lips blue?  
  
Willow put the brush down. And suddenly realized that she wasn't alone. Slowly standing, she knew who was here. She turned to face him.  
  
"Evening, Strawberry. I knew you'd come back."  
  
"Rack," whispered Willow.  
  
"You seem surprised to see me," he smiled.  
  
"I, I am. I didn't come to you," protested Willow. "And where am I anyway?"  
  
"Ah, but you did, you did," insisted Rack, ignoring her question. "It was your choice."  
  
"No. No, I chose to help Faith. It was a pure spell. Tara told me..."  
  
"Our actions sometimes hold consequences that are often, well, unforeseen. You of all people should know this," laughed Rack.  
  
"Go away. I don't want you here," said Willow, trying to raise her voice in anger. But only her fear came through.  
  
"But you're going to need me...you know you will," nodded Rack knowingly.  
  
"No. No, I...I don't," winced Willow.  
  
"In the morning, when you wake up...if you wake up...you're going to need me. And you know I can help. If you thought you were in pain before, what awaits you now will be sheer agony. Just let me touch you, and you can avoid facing that," offered Rack, extending his hand to her.  
  
Willow looked at it, biting her lower lip.  
  
"Know the reason I like you, Strawberry? You're not afraid to play with the Primal forces, to delve just a little deeper than you ought to. Imagine where you can go...with my help," smiled Rack.   
  
Willow glanced up at him, swallowed and looked back at his hand. He moved it towards her and she jumped back, bumping into the dresser behind her.  
  
"No."  
  
Rack hesitated but didn't lower his hand. "Oh, come now. Just a little taste."  
  
"You said it was my choice. I've made my choice. No," repeated Willow, this time with just a little more conviction.  
  
"You'll be screaming my name, begging me to help you. I offer it now, so that you can avoid suffering. Choose wisely," said Rack.  
  
"Go!" screamed Willow, her hands clenched into fists by her side.   
  
Rack smiled. And then he bowed his head and slowly retreated, becoming engulfed by the darkness behind them.  
  
"You know how to find me. I'll be waiting. Always," came his whispered promise.  
  
Willow gripped the dresser behind her for support. She needed to call out to him, wanted to run after him...Willow sat down and faced the mirror again, tears in her eyes. If she was this afraid now, what would the pain be like in the morning? And then Willow smiled.  
  
She could see her breath.  
  
Willow closed her eyes and began to cry, for how long she didn't know. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned, grateful that he had come back, knowing she couldn't face what awaited her alone. Opening her eyes, she saw Tara smiling down at her.  
  
"Tara!" breathed Willow, now crying because she was happy, lightheaded from simply seeing the person she needed the most. Tara looked confused for a moment and was about to say something but changed her mind. Instead she just smiled.  
  
Willow leaned forward, pressing her cheek against Tara's stomach. Tara's arms came up, gently cradling Willow.  
  
"Hey. What are you doing, trying to get out of bed?" sighed Tara.   
  
"Tara, I'm so sorry. I missed you so much," whimpered Willow, her body shaking with sobs now and not the fever. She tried to lift her arms, tried to wrap them around Tara's waist, but she was too weak.  
  
"Let's get you comfortable, okay?" whispered Tara.  
  
Willow didn't remember being lifted or carried. When she opened her eyes she was lying in her bed again with Tara sitting next to her, caressing her forehead with a wet towel. Willow smiled. She tried to raise her head but couldn't.  
  
"So sleepy," whispered Willow.  
  
"Everyone's really worried about you," said Tara. "Especially...especially me."  
  
" I was worried too," smiled Willow.  
  
"About yourself?" grinned Tara.  
  
"No, silly. About us," said Willow, easing her hand out towards Tara. Tara took it, hesitated, the raised her hand to her lips. Willow smiled again.  
  
"I'm so sorry. Please, you have to forgive me. I, I promise to be good. No more magic," sighed Willow.  
  
"Willow, just rest. I'm right here. We can talk in the morning. Please...close your eyes. Try to sleep," said Tara, flipping the towel over on her forehead. Willow closed her eyes but pouted.  
  
"You know I can't sleep without you. Can...can you lay down with me?" pleaded Willow.  
  
"Sure," smiled Tara. She removed the towel and moved the blanket covering Willow, slipping in beside her. But Willow only seemed more upset than before.  
  
"Willow? What's wrong? I'm here. I'm right here," comforted Tara softly, kissing Willow's forehead. She grimaced at how warm her girlfriend still was.  
  
"You're not here...you're far away. Tara, please honey, I need another chance. I'm...so... sorry," whispered Willow between sobs. Tara pulled her closer, rubbing her back with one hand.  
  
"I'm your girl, you know that," promised Tara, tears now in her eyes. "Willow, I need you to get better. You have to fight this. For me."  
  
She felt Willow shake her head beneath her.  
  
"Not for you. For us," said Willow.  
  
"For us," nodded Tara.  
  
"That's all I needed to hear," smiled Willow. She tilted her head, blindly searching for Tara's lips. Their mouths met but after a short kiss Tara pushed her away.  
  
"Rest," whispered Tara. "You don't know how weak you are."  
  
"No. Not just yet. I need to show you how much I love you, that I would do anything for you," whispered Willow. She felt Tara tense in her embrace. And Willow began to cry again.  
  
"You...you don't want to be with me," cried Willow, desperately holding on now.  
  
"Of course I do! I'm just so worried about you," said Tara.  
  
"No. No, in the morning you'll be gone. You won't be here," sniffed Willow.  
  
"I swear to you, I won't leave you alone. Shh..." comforted Tara, rocking her in her arms.  
  
Willow only cried harder.  
  
"Oh, Willow, please don't cry. I'm sorry. It's just...you're so sick and, and I'm scared, you know? Wicked scared. If something would happen to you..."  
  
"Nothing will. Not while I'm in your arms," answered Willow firmly. And Tara smiled.  
  
"Okay. Whatever you need from me, I'm yours. Completely," said Tara, gently touching the curve of Willow's face, brushing her hair away with a finger. "Just ask."  
  
Willow smiled. And Tara could feel that her girlfriend wasn't trembling like before.  
  
"No. I won't ask. I'll show you," whispered Willow. Her lips barely touched Tara's mouth, kissing the skin around her lips, her neck, the hollow of her shoulder, always moving. She moved her hand to the side of Tara's breast, gliding over her in a circular motion. Tara inhaled sharply but lay still, her eyes on Willow.  
  
Willow made eye contact, smiling at seeing tears in the corners of Tara's eyes.  
  
"What?" whispered Willow. Tara only shook her head and smiled.  
  
"It's been so long..." sighed Tara, her voice breaking.  
  
"Tell me about it," answered Willow, her mouth on Tara's before she could say anything more. This time their kiss was deeper and Tara eagerly returned the gesture. They paused, their noses touching, each gasping for breath.  
  
"You sure you..."  
  
Willow put a finger over Tara's lips.  
  
"Help me get this shirt off," winked Willow, sitting up. Tara grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled upwards, tossing it aside. Willow took Tara's hand and placed it over her left breast, her bra strap slipping off one shoulder. Her heart was racing beneath her fevered skin.  
  
"Feel that? I'm alive because of you. Don't you understand how much I love you?"  
  
Tara winced and looked down, immediately crying. Willow hugged her, smiling.  
  
"Honey, don't cry. We're together. What else matters?" laughed Willow happily.  
  
"I'm sorry. I've never felt...never mind," sniffed Tara, crying harder.  
  
Willow kissed her cheek then hugged her tighter.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Willow, so content to feel Tara against her again, not listening for her answer.  
  
"Five by five," whispered Tara, closing her eyes.   
  
*****  
  
The front door burst open. Tara took two steps and froze, causing Buffy to bump into her and Dawn to bump into Buffy. Faith was sitting at the kitchen table, just staring at her outstretched wrist. She took a deep breath and slowly stood up. She was not smiling.  
  
"Faith! What's wrong? What happened? Is Willow..."  
  
"Easy, Tara. Nothing's wrong," said Faith holding up one hand. "Willow's fine. She's upstairs...sleeping. The fever broke."  
  
"Thank the goddess," sighed Tara with relief. Dawn shut the door behind them. "When I saw your face..."  
  
"Sorry 'bout that. I'm wicked beat," shrugged Faith.  
  
"Did she ask for me?" asked Tara.  
  
"Oh, she called out your name, more than once," smiled Faith.  
  
"Oh. Um, I know she'll probably sleep for a long time, but I want to be there when she wakes up. So I'm going to head up," said Tara, motioning towards the stairs.  
  
"Tara, wait!" called Faith. Tara turned to face her and Faith walked over to stand next to her.  
  
"I have a confession to make," frowned Faith.  
  
Buffy's eyes opened just a little wider and she crossed her arms. Her expression wasn't lost on Faith.  
  
"I, um, think this spell was a lot more dangerous than Willow led us to believe. She had a bad fever and was really out of it. Delirious. I can't...I can't believe she would risk her life for someone, knowing...well, especially for me," grimaced Faith.  
  
"Been trying to tell ya Faith, you don't know her. She was just being Willow," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Yeah. I know that now. And Tara, going through what she did, well, the whole time she was worried about you. She didn't care what happened to her."  
  
Faith stepped closer to Tara, making sure the other girl held her gaze. She lowered her voice to a whisper and spoke very slowly.  
  
"The whole time, all she thought about was you."  
  
Tara smiled but her face grew red, as if she wasn't worthy of such praise. She looked down, glanced back up at Faith and looked away again, still smiling. Faith thought that Tara might even cry.  
  
"Oh, my confession. I'm jealous," grinned Faith. "Willow's a very lucky girl."  
  
And now Tara did cry. She covered her mouth with a hand, still smiling.  
  
"No. I am," nodded Tara. "Thank you, for all that you did for her."  
  
Faith awkwardly nodded. "Oh hell, I didn't...Tara, look what she did for me."  
  
Tara smiled and almost laughed.  
  
"You should be with her. You should be the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes," said Faith. Tara turned to go and then stopped.  
  
"Faith, I'm so glad you got your sight back. And, um, I'm really sorry about..."  
  
"I know. But...not now. Now you should be happy," interrupted Faith. She swallowed and Tara could see how brave she was trying to be. Tara smiled sadly and nodded, glancing at Buffy before running up the stairs. Faith turned and walked back to the kitchen table, dropping down into the chair again. Buffy motioned with her head for Dawn to follow her and took a seat across from Faith.  
  
"You okay?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Yeah," replied Faith flatly.  
  
"Faith, that was nice. What you did for Tara, I mean. She needed to hear that," smiled Dawn.  
  
Buffy wasn't sure but she thought she saw Faith flinch.  
  
"Yeah," repeated Faith, half smiling and staring vacantly at the table.  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes, watching Faith.  
  
"I don't know if this means the same thing to you as it does to me, but um, I don't mind that you're my sister too. In fact, I kinda think the whole idea is cool," laughed Dawn.  
  
"Huh? Dawn...what are you talking about?" asked Faith, raising her head to stare at Dawn.  
  
"You know. Your memories...from back in Boston...about me," said Dawn, tapping her chest with her thumb.  
  
Faith sat up in the chair stiffly and looked at Buffy. Buffy and Dawn exchanged confused looks. Dawn shrugged.  
  
"Dawn, I never met you until three days ago. I knew you were Buffy's sister, but...but what the hell are you talking about?" asked Faith nervously.  
  
Buffy's mouth dropped open. Dawn's face, at first pale, was now ashen. She didn't move. She didn't blink.  
  
"Faith, the first day you came back here...you told me that Dawn was your sister. That, that you recognized her voice. But that she died when she was ten. This had better not be some damn joke because it's not funny! Do you know what you put my sister through?" demanded Buffy, spittle flying in her breath.  
  
"B, I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about! I never had a sister! And thank God for that, what with the shit I had to deal with growing up!"  
  
Faith looked at Dawn. So did Buffy. Dawn shivered, gripped by a chill. She wet her lips and slowly stood up from the table, never taking her eyes off of Faith.  
  
"Wolfram and Hart never made you blind. The monks did. You can see now...and so you don't remember," whispered Dawn.  
  
"Dawn, that doesn't make sense," said Buffy, cringing.  
  
"What does?" yelled Dawn.  
  
"She's gotcha there, B," sighed Faith.  
  
"I, I gotta go. I think I'm going to be sick," muttered Dawn.  
  
"Dawn!"  
  
Dawn hesitated only because Faith's voice suddenly seemed so full of pain. She stood up, gripping the table with her hands until her knuckles shown white.   
  
"I never told Buffy this. I never told anyone. You know I never once came after you or tried to hurt you. Not once. But do you know why? See, you were...I always wanted a sister. Someone I could take care of. Someone who would..."  
  
Faith hesitated, glancing at Buffy, then looking away, her lips trembling.  
  
"Dawn, you were innocent. I didn't trust myself. Thought I might be tempted to...I couldn't...don't you get it? You were the sister I never had. No way was I going to let you into our world," said Faith, nodding at Buffy.  
  
Dawn looked at Buffy, stared at her, fear being replaced pity...and then anger. She walked over to Buffy and put her hands on her shoulders.  
  
"I wish I had met you, Faith. Then...maybe...you wouldn't have tried to kill my sister!"  
  
"She's gotcha there, Faith," smiled Buffy.  
  
Faith slowly sat back down into her chair, limp. She simply nodded.  
  
"Maybe...maybe Faith remembered you because that was the only way she would know that your life was in danger. So that she would know what to do, know what was happening," said Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, that's a reach," frowned Dawn.  
  
"She did save your life," countered Buffy.  
  
"You know, if you try to think about the monks, about me..."  
  
"You'll go crazy," finished Buffy, anticipating Dawn's thoughts. Dawn smiled until she noticed that Faith was staring at her.  
  
"I wish I had met you," whispered Faith. She leaned forward, placing an elbow on the table and covered her eyes with one hand.  
  
Dawn leaned in and whispered something into Buffy's ear. Buffy thought about it and then nodded.  
  
"I'll be in my room," said Dawn, giving Buffy's shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Faith."  
  
Faith looked up, her face drained.  
  
"You have met me. Now. Maybe there's a reason," said Dawn, slowly lowering her eyes to look upon her sister and then, just as slowly, making eye contact with Faith. Faith looked at Buffy, searching her eyes and finding them not empty but hopeful..  
  
"Good night," said Dawn as she left.  
  
"What did she whisper to you?" asked Faith.  
  
"She thought it was sad that you had said she was the only person you had ever loved. And now that had been taken away from you," explained Buffy without hesitation.  
  
If Buffy's words had hurt Faith, she didn't show it.  
  
"But she also said that maybe it was time we talked. And I think she's right," smiled Buffy. "I should've said this a long time ago. I'm sorry that I couldn't."  
  
"Buffy, maybe I should go first. There's something you need to know first."  
  
"No. I need to say this. Faith, maybe it wasn't the monks that blinded you. Maybe it was The Powers That Be that Angel told me about. Maybe they needed another Slayer again or, or...oh, who knows? But you came here for a reason, because you needed to. And I don't mean just to regain your sight," nodded Buffy.  
  
"It's about Willow."  
  
Buffy leaned back in her chair, silenced.  
  
"Go on," said Buffy apprehensively.  
  
"I've been around death. You know what I mean. I didn't want to scare Tara. What Willow tells her...well, that's between them. But your friend almost died tonight."  
  
Buffy's eyes went wide and she looked away from Faith. She hadn't thought about Willow being close to death. It hadn't even crossed her mind.  
  
"I kept wetting her down with those ice cold towels, but that fever...God, how her body was shaking! I was scared. And I held her. Somehow, that seemed to help. She thought I was Tara. She kept calling out her name..."  
  
Faith paused to take a deep breath.  
  
"Thank you, Faith. I should've been there."  
  
"No. I don't think you could have...besides, you had to find Tara. I tried to tell her who I was, but...if I pulled away, she became hysterical. You see, she thought Tara was leaving her. So...I was Tara. And it helped. Willow wasn't trembling as badly. I held her and, and even in all that pain, she was happy. So...happy," cringed Faith, turning her face away from Buffy.  
  
Buffy didn't realize Faith was crying until she heard the sobs, heard Faith painfully inhale, gasping.  
  
"Faith, what's wrong? I don't understand. You, you were great! You saved her life!"  
  
Faith nodded and sat up. Her hair hung down, hiding her eyes from Buffy. Buffy reached over and gently pulled the dark strands away from her face.  
  
"Yeah. I did what I had to do. Would've done anything for that girl, after what she did for me," sniffed Faith, meeting Buffy's eyes. "And I did."  
  
Buffy stared at Faith, confused.  
  
"What?" whispered Buffy.  
  
"Without Tara, Willow was lost. I believe...no, I know she would have died. Once I understood that, I was Tara. And I gave myself to her, whatever she needed. No hesitation, no regret...holding nothing back. It was...Tara's a lucky girl, to have someone love you with that intensity. That's real magic. But I'm worried about them," winced Faith.  
  
"What?" repeated Buffy, so softly she was almost mouthing the words.  
  
"What if Tara finds out? What if she doesn't understand? I mean, Willow might not even remember, what with the fever. And..."  
  
"What?" said Buffy, her voice now piercing like a knife, her right hand clenching as she choked back her impending rage.  
  
Faith shook her head, suddenly realizing that Buffy didn't understand.  
  
"It wasn't like me with Riley! I didn't deceive anyone! I saved her fucking life!"  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and swallowed, counting to ten. And then to twenty.  
  
"B, I want to do the right thing. Do I tell Willow? Should I? Or...what about Tara?" asked Faith, her voice aching with despair.  
  
"Get out," whispered Buffy, opening her eyes. She turned on Faith, glaring. Faith suddenly looked like she would throw up.  
  
"Buffy, please," begged Faith.  
  
"Get. Out."  
  
Faith recoiled as if she had been slapped. Her teeth clenched, anger now screaming away any traces of guilt or doubt.  
  
"You had sex with her?" said Buffy, her voice intense, deep with anger.  
  
Faith pushed up from her chair and placed her hands on the table in front of her. She leaned towards Buffy until their faces were almost touching.  
  
"I didn't have sex with her. We made love. And if you're wondering, it wasn't the first time I was with a girl. You should try it sometime. Maybe you would...feel something," spat Faith, her voice a controlled whisper.  
  
"Get out. Now," said Buffy, afraid to look Faith in the eye. "Please."  
  
Faith walked away, grabbing her backpack off the kitchen counter. She opened the front door and turned around. Buffy still wouldn't look at her.  
  
"Know how I know the difference between having sex and making love? Riley taught me. Hell, I must've been good. He even told me that he loved me."  
  
From the shock and revulsion on Buffy's face, Faith knew she had guessed right. That had been the first time Riley had spoke those words. And Buffy hadn't been there to hear them.  
  
"See ya around, B."  
  
Buffy shot up, enraged.  
  
"I only wish that you could remember Dawn so that you'd know what you lost!" screamed Buffy. "A gift like that isn't bestowed on a soul very often in this short life, Faith. You'll never feel anything! You never could! And I'm glad you lost..."  
  
Buffy froze, her face paling with the horror of what she almost said. But she didn't have to say the words. Faith actually staggered and had to brace herself, reaching for the door with a hand for balance. But her eyes never left Buffy. And her eyes held no anger, no hate. They only reflected raw pain. Faith could barely say the words, but she forced them out.  
  
"You win again, B. You know how to wield that knife. Only I didn't know you'd cut so deep. Maybe we're not so alike after all."  
  
Faith left without shutting the door.  
  
"Faith," mouthed Buffy, her breath barely a whisper. "Faith, come back. I'm...I'm sorry."   
  
But Buffy didn't move. She stared at the table in front of her, unable to breathe. She watched as her hand began to tremble, unable to control it, unable to feel it. She collapsed into her chair. Buffy lowered her forehead to the table, her eyes shut tight, and gave in to the only emotion she understood. Pain. She cried for release, she cried for Willow, for Tara, for her sister...and she even was able to cry for Faith. She let go, knowing what was coming. The sobs tore through her as she moaned in agony, her fingers clutching feebly at the table. And finally, for the first time since she returned from the grave, Buffy allowed herself to cry for Buffy.  
  
END OF PART SEVEN 


	8. Part Eight

Title: Right In Front Of You  
Disclaimers and stuff in part one.  
  
PART EIGHT  
  
Bleary eyed and still sniffing, Buffy stood in the doorway of Willow's room and leaned her head against the door. The weak sunrise was barely noticeable through the still drawn shades. Tara was asleep in a chair pulled close to the bed, her head at an odd angle and her mouth slightly open. Willow was on her side facing Tara, arms crossed in front of her, crossed at the wrists.  
  
Buffy's gaze drifted down to her own wrist. She brushed her fingers over it, concentrating on the sensation...and felt like crying again. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and dropped her hands by her side. And when she opened her eyes again, Willow was staring at her. Buffy smiled and held a finger up to her lips, nodding towards Tara. Willow smiled in return and eased herself into a sitting position, patting the bed beside her with one hand.  
  
Buffy sat down and for a moment and just smiled at Willow.  
  
"You can see me?" whispered Buffy, nodding for confirmation but only half serious.  
  
"Well, duh! Of course I can. You didn't doubt that I could do it, did you?" teased Willow, keeping her voice low.  
  
"Doubt? Never. If anything I underestimated you. Um, not what you could do, but what you would do for someone else. Won't happen again," winked Buffy, putting the back of her hand to Willow's forehead. "Fever's gone. How do you feel?"  
  
Willow held her hand out flat in front of her and wiggled it.  
  
"Meh. Let's just say that if Anya was here and she started talking about money, I wouldn't have the strength to crawl away," pouted Willow.  
  
"Not to worry. I'd drag you from the room myself," reassured Buffy.  
  
Willow sighed, but then she looked at Tara and smiled. "Still, I've never been happier."  
  
"That's great," answered Buffy, glancing at Tara so that she didn't have to look at Willow.  
  
"Thanks for finding her, Buffy," said Willow, her eyes still on Tara. "I so needed her last night."  
  
Buffy tried to say something but froze, seeing such complete contentment on Willow's face. Willow wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at Buffy.  
  
"Will, you were pretty delirious last night. Do you...do you remember much?"  
  
"Oh yeah," nodded Willow. "Tara and I, well, I think we're going to be okay. I really do. I, um, don't want to embarrass you or anything, but there's something to be said for make up sex."  
  
Buffy looked away and took a deep breath.  
  
"Buffy? Is something wrong?" asked Willow, scrunching up her eyebrows.  
  
"No," answered Buffy a little too quickly. "It's just, well, you know...the fever and, and you were so out of it...you might be a little confused. About the remembering. And the confusion."  
  
"No, it was all too real. My imagination isn't that colorful," said Willow, not smiling because she saw that Buffy still seemed uncomfortable. "Oh, I said something, didn't I? Is that it? Was I mean? Buffy, I wasn't mean, was I? It was the fever!"  
  
"No, no. You didn't...Willow, Tara wasn't here last night. By the time we got her back here you were already asleep. The fever had broken."  
  
"But...no. No, I couldn't have imagined...Tara really wasn't here?" asked Willow absently, slowing raising a hand to touch the side of her neck. She awkwardly lowered her hand when she notice Buffy watching her.  
  
"Tara wasn't here," repeated Buffy, shaking her head.   
  
"But, you didn't leave me alone, right? Faith was here to...to take care of me," said Willow slowly.  
  
Buffy fought the urge to look away. She almost imperceptibly nodded.  
  
"Faith was here. The whole time. She never left your side."  
  
"Oh," answered Willow, glancing at Tara. When she looked back at Buffy her friend opened her eyes just slightly. And Willow's eyes slowly opened very wide.  
  
"Oh!" repeated Willow, her hands pulling the blanket up a little higher to cover herself.  
  
"Willow! Honey, how are you feeling?" asked Tara, suddenly awake. She leaned over and gave Willow a hug. Confused and nervous, Willow kept her eyes on Buffy and slowly raised her arms to embrace Tara.  
  
"You know, right now I'm feeling great," said Willow. Tara pulled back and Willow smiled for her.  
  
"Oh, Tara, I must look like I was dragged behind a car," winced Willow, pushing back her hair with both hands. Tara laughed, sat down on the bed next to her and kissed her on the mouth. Buffy politely looked away as the kiss lingered. Willow, hesitant at first, reached up and wrapped her arms around Tara.  
  
"You look wonderful," laughed Tara. She looked back over her shoulder, her face slightly red.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Buffy. I, uh, well...you know," shrugged Tara. Even Willow glanced away, somewhat embarrassed.  
  
"Hey, I don't mind! So yay for the smoochies. In fact, I'm a little jealous," smiled Buffy.  
  
Tara and Willow both looked at her with eyebrows raised.  
  
"Um, that didn't come out quite the way I meant it," grimaced Buffy awkwardly.  
  
"I told you she's been staring at you a lot, Tara," said Willow, straight-faced. Tara nodded in agreement. "She hasn't been hitting on you, has she?"  
  
"She did say she liked my top the other day," added Tara.  
  
"Yes, that red top you were wearing, not...you know, maybe I'd better go. You two have some catching up to do," announced Buffy, standing up.  
  
"Better put something over the key hole, Tara," whispered Willow, loud enough for Buffy to hear. Buffy rolled her eyes in mock horror and Willow finally laughed.  
  
"Buffy, where's Faith?" asked Tara.  
  
Buffy glanced at Willow. She was no longer laughing.  
  
"Faith...left," sighed Buffy. Tara sat back down on the bed, making herself comfortable.  
  
"Without saying goodbye?" asked Tara, glancing at Willow. Willow kept her eyes on Buffy.  
  
"Uh, well, the thing is...we got into an argument. And it's all my fault. We...we just had a misunderstanding and kinda fell back into old habits. Let me tell you, we still know how to push each other's buttons," sighed Buffy. "I blew it. I really blew it. And Faith knew I would, too."  
  
"Buffy, that's not fair. Faith was really trying with you. She wouldn't assume..."  
  
"Willow, she had already packed even before we sat down to talk She knew," said Buffy, looking down.  
  
"Do you think she'll come back?" asked Tara.  
  
"I hope so. We said some really harsh things. I didn't get a chance to apologize," winced Buffy. She looked up when she heard Willow sigh.  
  
"What?" asked Buffy.  
  
"She didn't want you to apologize, Buffy. She needed you to forgive her. I think that, even more than her blindness, is the reason she came here," said Willow.  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then nodded.  
  
"Do you? Forgive her?" asked Tara.  
  
Buffy looked at Tara and smiled.  
  
"Guess I should've told her yes, even if I didn't know the answer."  
  
"Why did you fight? What did Faith do?" asked Tara, confused.  
  
Buffy glanced at Willow. Without Tara seeing, Willow twitched her head no. When Buffy answered, she kept her eyes on Willow.  
  
"It's not what Faith did. That doesn't matter."  
  
Buffy lowered her eyes and her voice.  
  
"She wanted to help, she just wanted to make things right again. What's wrong is Faith listened to her heart...and I didn't understand that. I wasn't listening," said Buffy.  
  
"Maybe she'll come back or, or at least call," offered Tara.  
  
"I hope so. I'd like to at least say goodbye," said Willow.  
  
"Maybe she already did," said Tara, reaching behind Willow. She pulled out a envelope that had been mostly hidden under the pillow. Tara held it up. Only Willow's name was printed on the front. She handed it to Willow but Willow didn't take it.  
  
Willow stared at the letter in Tara's hand then looked to Buffy. Buffy looked away.  
  
"You read it, Tara," said Willow.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
Willow nodded. Tara tore the envelope open.  
  
"I was wrong. Some things are better left unsaid, if you know what I mean. But I couldn't go without saying thank you, Willow. You did more than give me back my sight. Maybe you won't understand, but you gave me hope back. Tara is a very lucky girl. Make sure she knows that. Don't piss me off by doing something stupid and lose her. Love, Faith."  
  
Tara turned and smiled at Willow. Willow was staring blankly, lost in thought. She suddenly realized that Tara was looking at her. Reaching over, she took her hand and returned her smile.  
  
"She...she signed it love?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Yep," smiled Tara.  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise.   
  
"You two need some time. And I think I'd better shut the door behind me on the way out," smiled Buffy, causing Tara to giggle.  
  
"Any bad dreams last night?" asked Willow, concerned.  
  
"No. Just a nasty hangover this morning," said Tara, rolling her eyes. She took a deep breath and frowned. "Willow, it's not the magic. I don't want to lose you. I can't. But you have to promise me something."  
  
"Anything," whispered Willow gratefully. Tara leaned in and hugged her again.   
  
"No more secrets, no more lies. I need to trust you. Okay?" asked Tara, almost begging.  
  
Willow's eyes met Buffy's and they just stared at one another. Willow exhaled very slowly, puffing her cheeks out. Buffy softly shut the door behind her.  
  
*****  
  
Dawn stretched her arms out, reluctantly opening her eyes. Glancing at the clock, she groaned. She sat up in bed and turned around to flip her pillow over, determined to sleep for at least another fifteen minutes. And was surprised to see an envelope with her name printed on it. Dawn tore it open and peered inside, dumping the contents into the palm of her hand. It was a pair of gold stud earrings. She thought for a moment, trying to recall where she had seen them before and then realized they belonged to Faith.  
  
Looking back into the envelope, she pulled out a note and read it.  
  
Hey Dawn. I wanted you to have these. They were given to me when I was about your age, just before I was called to be - well, you know. I've managed to keep them all this time and considering how my life has turned out, I think that says something about what they mean to me. It's a connection to who I was before. So don't lose one like the other night! Keep an eye on your sister for me. And remember this - she might not tell you, but she needs you. Take care.   
  
Love, Faith.  
  
Dawn could only stare with her mouth open at the earrings in her hand.  
  
*****  
  
She let the water in the sink run to get cold, then filled her glass. She reached for the faucet to turn the water off but hesitated, suddenly fascinated by how the water spun, counterclockwise, swirling before it disappeared down the drain. She didn't know how long she had been standing there like that, but suddenly a hand reached over and turned the water off. Buffy's hand. Willow raised the glass to her lips and took a sip.  
  
"Dry mouth. Another side effect from the spell. Not unexpected, just...unpleasant," shrugged Willow.  
  
"How you doing?" asked Buffy.   
  
"I'm alive," answered Willow, taking another sip of water so that she didn't have to look at Buffy.  
  
"It's a start," shrugged Buffy. "Will, I wanted to ask you...those words you said, during the spell. What were they?"  
  
"Well, the last one was intrare. It means enter. In layman's terms I was inviting in whatever was affecting Faith negatively, allowing her aura to balance. Not unlike inviting a vampire into your home, I might add," said Willow with half a smile.  
  
"Oh. And the first word?" pressed Buffy.  
  
"Um, combined with the blood ritual, basically it meant to bind. I needed a stronger connection with Faith. And...well, obviously it worked," frowned Willow.  
  
"Obviously," nodded Buffy uncomfortably.  
  
Willow took a deep breath and lowered her eyes.  
  
"It worked a little too well. That was one reason I got so sick. I kinda took on more than I could chew. Shoulda learned that lesson by now," sighed Willow.  
  
"I don't...Will, what do you mean it worked too well?" asked Buffy.  
  
Willow looked up at Buffy and took another deep breath. Buffy raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Remember when Faith told us how she felt in prison? How she, um, couldn't feel? Like...like she was dead?" winced Willow.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"That was part of the total package. I mean, this was a really strong connection. It's hard to explain. But...I know. Not only what Faith felt, but what you must be dealing with now," said Willow, carefully watching Buffy, waiting for her reaction.  
  
Buffy looked down, afraid to look at her.  
  
"Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I never would have...I'm so sorry for what I did to you," said Willow, her voice breaking.  
  
Buffy still didn't look at her but wrapped her arms around her in a hug, settling her chin on Willow's shoulder.  
  
"You know I can't forgive you, right?" whispered Buffy.  
  
"I know...w-what?" stammered Willow, startled.  
  
Willow eased away, pain twisting her face. Buffy reached down and took both of her hands into her own.  
  
"Because there's nothing to forgive. I'm grateful. I'm alive because of you. Alive to be with my sister who needs me, alive to be with my best friend who obviously can't keep out of trouble!"  
  
Willow closed her eyes and smiled but started to cry.  
  
"Thank you. I really mean that," said Buffy, pulling Willow close again. "And I'm going to get better. I just need some time."  
  
"And I'll try to stay out of trouble," sniffed Willow.  
  
"Like that's going to happen," laughed Buffy. Even Willow couldn't help but laugh. Buffy eased away and caught her eye.  
  
"What about Tara? Did you tell her?"  
  
Willow's pained expression revealed the truth.  
  
"Like Faith said, some things are better left unsaid," whispered Willow. "You can't change what happened."  
  
"Willow..."  
  
"Buffy, right now...it's just...things are going good again. And I'm trying to be so careful, you know? Like turning on a light by using magic instead of just flipping the switch. It's a habit, a pattern I have to break out of and, and I don't want to screw up again. I'm walking on eggshells as it is. If she didn't understand...I just can't deal with anything else right now," sighed Willow.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"I'm a bad person," pouted Willow.  
  
"No. You are not. You're just scared. And I'm the last person who should be giving advice on talking to people."  
  
"But you're going to anyway, right?" smiled Willow.  
  
Buffy opened her mouth, then reconsidered.  
  
"No. I don't think I will."   
  
*****  
  
Willow opened the door and stuck her head into the steamy room, raising her voice to be heard above the shower.  
  
"Tara, did you move that photo of us? You know, the one that was on my desk?" called Willow.  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"I can't find it," answered Willow. Tara stuck her head out from behind the shower curtain.  
  
"Honey, I never liked that one anyway. You were cute, but I didn't like my smile. Just find another one. We should put a new one out anyway," smiled Tara.  
  
"'Cause we're starting over," smiled Willow. "You're right."  
  
"Want to join me," invited Tara suggestively.  
  
"You big tease! You know we don't have time. Now get going!" laughed Willow, shutting the door.  
  
Willow sat down at her desk and opened a drawer, thought for a moment, then closed that one and opened another. Reaching in, she withdrew a photo album. Flipping a few pages, she realized that this one wasn't the one she was looking for, but she smiled at the old photos and turned a few more pages. And she stopped, holding a page in mid-turn.  
  
Homecoming. Someone, maybe Xander, had taken a photo of her and Oz. They weren't dancing yet. Maybe they were just talking but they were unaware someone was taking their picture. And there, in the background, stood Faith, staring right into the camera. She wasn't smiling yet she had a certain look about here. It took a moment for Willow to realize what it was.  
  
Faith was confident, sure of herself. Willow hadn't seen that look on her when she was here. Not once. She ran her finger over the outline of Faith's dress and shook her head. And then Willow brought her finger slowly up and touched her neck, reliving a moment. She had seen that confident air before...last night, on Tara's face. But it hadn't been Tara.  
  
Willow heard the shower shut off and quickly closed the album, slipping it back into the drawer with all those other memories that made up who she was. And then she pushed the drawer tightly shut.  
  
*****  
  
Faith watched the people as they walked by, more to keep herself awake than out of any genuine interest. Still, she deeply appreciated just being able to see them. The bus station was mostly empty at this time of day and she tried to avoid staring at any one person. A young woman, hardly older than Faith, eased herself down on the bench across from her. A very pregnant woman. She glanced at Faith and smiled, resting her hands on her swollen belly. Faith smiled back.  
  
"When are you due?" asked Faith, still smiling.  
  
"Three weeks," replied the girl, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"That about sums it up!" laughed the girl.  
  
"You look great," nodded Faith sincerely.  
  
"Thanks. It's been a while since anyone has said that to me," said the girl, though her smile lost some of its enthusiasm.  
  
Faith tilted her head, puzzled.  
  
"Oh, the father's out of the picture. I'm heading back home to have the baby. It's nice to have people there for you, when you need them," sighed the girl gratefully.  
  
"Yeah. I get that," agreed Faith.  
  
"Oh! She's kicking," grinned the girl.  
  
"She?" asked Faith.  
  
"Yep. Gonna be a girl. Um, you want to feel?" offered the girl.  
  
Faith hesitated, reluctant to move but wanting so much to say yes.  
  
"It's okay. Really," encouraged the girl. Faith smiled and quickly got up, sitting down next to her. She moved her hand towards her, unsure of what to do next. The girl took her hand and placed it on the side of her stomach. Faith's eyes lit up.  
  
"Wow!" grinned Faith, shaking her head. "How do you sleep?"  
  
"Like a cat. A nap here, a nap there. But I don't mind. Not at all," smiled the girl, looking down.  
  
Faith awkwardly withdrew her hand.  
  
"Thought of a name yet?" asked Faith.  
  
"No. Can you believe it? Guess I should really get going on that, huh?"  
  
Faith looked at her and then glanced down at her belly again.  
  
"How about Willow?" suggested Faith softly.  
  
"Willow," repeated the girl. "That's a pretty name. It's a tree, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it is. A tree that is much stronger than it looks. When it gets windy, it tends to bend but not break," said Faith, almost smiling.  
  
"Willow. I'll keep that one in mind. Thanks," nodded the girl. "Um, excuse me, but I have to use the bathroom. Again."  
  
She tried to get up but had a little trouble. Faith instinctively stood and helped her, lifting her by the elbow.  
  
"Thanks," smiled the mom, gratefully. "Hey, it was nice talking to you."  
  
"Yeah. You too," nodded Faith. "Good luck."  
  
The girl waddled off. Faith realized that she hadn't even learned her name and felt a sudden compulsion to run after her and ask. And then she wondered why she felt that way.  
  
Faith sat back down on the bench, watching the people around her. She exhaled slowly and slipped her backpack from her shoulders, unzipping it. Reaching in, it only took a moment to find what she was looking for. She held up the photograph, staring at it.  
  
Willow and Tara, standing next to one another, holding hands. Such a simple yet touching gesture, thought Faith. They were both smiling but it seemed to her that Tara seemed a little sad. She ran a finger over Willow, tracing the line of her hair, recalling the scent of sweet strawberry shampoo.  
  
For at least the fourth time that morning Faith looked at the pay phone on the wall. For a long time she just sat there, as if hoping it would ring. She forced herself to look away, wiping a sleeve across her eyes.   
  
Faith tore the photo in half and turned it over, unable to look at it. She gripped the edge and raised it, about to rip it again, but she couldn't tear the paper. The other half of the photo fell onto the floor at her feet. Flipping the photograph over, she took one last look, sighed, then slipped the torn memory back into her backpack. Standing up, she zipped the backpack closed and flung it over her shoulder.  
  
Faith headed for her bus, walking quickly, leaving Tara and Sunnydale behind.  
  
THE END  
  
Note - There wasn't much of Xander and Anya in this but they haven't been in season 6 much lately either. 


End file.
